Posts Tagged ‘What?’

No, I don’t know either

Sunday, October 4th, 2009

Whelp, pretty much all my cognitive operators are gone out the window today, so I can’t be bothered to write anything even remotely intelligent or interesting, so you’ll just have to do with absurdity and inane bullshit that makes absolutely no sense at all, or perhaps it will, I haven’t got a clue yet.

To be honest, nothing ever really happens on Sundays, there just a bunch of boring crap days that for reasons stupid religions are “free days”.

Why seven? Why 52 weeks? Why do I care? There really isn’t any reason at all.

Let’s randomly change subject into something else, like the massive problem with classical Danish humour, or as anyone outside the country would call it: “Fucking retarded toilet humour”. Apparently the older and more popular versions of Danish humour are primarily based on Dirch Passer talking VERY loudly, Linje 3 making horrible impressions and someone falling on his/her ass.

It’s odd, I know it’s pretty crap, but I still laugh my silly little head off, now Danish standup is pretty much the same as the rest of the western world, angry person screaming about shit he really loath, jokes and more jokes.

It’s fairly normal, even if a few do stand out a bit, like that guy who based his show on a fake apartment, wherein he was trying to come up with an idea for his show, it was a delight to watch, mostly because he’s a pretty deranged individual.

Still, makes it fairly easy to laugh as a Dane, as pretty much everything is funny, even a kitten being hit by a car at high speeds and slamming into an old lady, go ahead, try and find one out there, in the Aether.

People always forget just how awesome the Elder really are, don’t they? Really fucking old, seal the souls of their dead inside gems to prevent them from falling into the hands of Slanesh, who they created by the way.

They live in giant space cities and travel through the motherfucking webway! How cool is that? Fucking cool.

The reason why people think they are little cowards with giant schemes and wheels within wheels, plans within plans are because they are more hit and run, strike single target, let’s wait and see.

Can’t forget that they’ll betray you for any reason at all.

Ever mentioned a like the Bee Gees? Ever mentioned that anyone who doesn’t like the Bee Gees deserve to be shot in the face? Don’t think I have.

So fuck you haters.

Remember how I said Danes will laugh at the simplest forms of humour? See above, that’s apparently the absolute pinnacle of Danish popular humour.

Yes, you may feel pity for us, but then remember we are horrible racist and our present government would love to wipe out Christiana, the only thing we’re know for besides butter, bacon and racism.

Isn’t that awesome?

The Bee Gees are fucking awesome.

And on that closing note and bombshell: I hate you all.

On the Internet, everyone hates you!

Wednesday, January 7th, 2009

On the putrid cesspoll that is the Internet, the parts the normal citizens doesn’t see, but nerds do.
Everyone hates you, and your opnions. They consider you a useless little bastard.

And they’ll get you in the end.

Also, your computer is full of spyware, that’s what I tell you, now OBEY!

Beware the Ides of March, a warning Caesar didn’t listen to, and see what happen to him, HE’S DEAD!
Assassinated by his own adopted son. That’s what’ll happen to you when you use the Internet, that’s right, BETRAYAL! So suck it up Bismarck. And sure, Caesar was murdered because of political envy from his enemies, but hey, you can probably make up some connection to shock images on the Internet.

Too bad I can’t.

Would have helped, but hey.

Most shock images are used as a sort of weapon on online discussion forums. In order to disturb the opposing side on a discussion, individual users will use shock images to shock the other side into submission or silence, thus in their twisted minds forcing an end to the opposing dialogue.
Usual, the images are presented as a link to a so called “Shock Site”, often disguised as a link to something not quite so awful. I quote Wikpedia:

A shock site is a website that is intended to be offensive, disgusting or disturbing to its viewers, containing materials of high shock value which is also considered distasteful and crude, and is generally of a pornographic, scatological, extremely violent, extremely profane, or extremely provocative nature.[1] Some shock sites display a single picture, animation, or video clip, or a small gallery, and are often passed around via email or disguised in posts to discussion sites as a hoax in an attempt to trick readers into following the link to the website.[2] Other shock sites are merely websites that openly display shocking material.

The Internet is downright horrible, and the immortal words of Oscar Wilde:
“Be a dear and fetch me the computing device, will you, Alfred? I feel the urge to vandalize the Uncyclopedia again with another flurry of delicious top-quotes.”

This is the true Vision of the Internet.
• It’s full of freaks.
• 4chan.
• It’s a place for people to reinforce their fragile little egos.

I’d like to thank the following list of people for support this endeavour:
1. Bismark, Chancelor of Imperial Germany.
2. Lord Beaverbrook.
3. John Cleese.
4. Meina Gladstone, CEO of the Hegemony of Man.
5. His Serene Highness The Doge of Venice.
6. Chairman Mao.
7. Sir Donald Smith,1st Baron Strathcona and Mount Royal.
8. Baron Vladimir Harkonnen.
9. Duke Adolf Friedrich of Mecklenburg.
10. King Zog of Albania.
11. Oliver Lincoln Lundquist.
12. His Imperial Majesty Emperor Norton of the United States of America, Protector of Mexico.
13. Davis Hasselhoff.