Posts Tagged ‘WARHAMMER’

No, I don’t know either

Sunday, October 4th, 2009

Whelp, pretty much all my cognitive operators are gone out the window today, so I can’t be bothered to write anything even remotely intelligent or interesting, so you’ll just have to do with absurdity and inane bullshit that makes absolutely no sense at all, or perhaps it will, I haven’t got a clue yet.

To be honest, nothing ever really happens on Sundays, there just a bunch of boring crap days that for reasons stupid religions are “free days”.

Why seven? Why 52 weeks? Why do I care? There really isn’t any reason at all.

Let’s randomly change subject into something else, like the massive problem with classical Danish humour, or as anyone outside the country would call it: “Fucking retarded toilet humour”. Apparently the older and more popular versions of Danish humour are primarily based on Dirch Passer talking VERY loudly, Linje 3 making horrible impressions and someone falling on his/her ass.

It’s odd, I know it’s pretty crap, but I still laugh my silly little head off, now Danish standup is pretty much the same as the rest of the western world, angry person screaming about shit he really loath, jokes and more jokes.

It’s fairly normal, even if a few do stand out a bit, like that guy who based his show on a fake apartment, wherein he was trying to come up with an idea for his show, it was a delight to watch, mostly because he’s a pretty deranged individual.

Still, makes it fairly easy to laugh as a Dane, as pretty much everything is funny, even a kitten being hit by a car at high speeds and slamming into an old lady, go ahead, try and find one out there, in the Aether.

People always forget just how awesome the Elder really are, don’t they? Really fucking old, seal the souls of their dead inside gems to prevent them from falling into the hands of Slanesh, who they created by the way.

They live in giant space cities and travel through the motherfucking webway! How cool is that? Fucking cool.

The reason why people think they are little cowards with giant schemes and wheels within wheels, plans within plans are because they are more hit and run, strike single target, let’s wait and see.

Can’t forget that they’ll betray you for any reason at all.

Ever mentioned a like the Bee Gees? Ever mentioned that anyone who doesn’t like the Bee Gees deserve to be shot in the face? Don’t think I have.

So fuck you haters.

Remember how I said Danes will laugh at the simplest forms of humour? See above, that’s apparently the absolute pinnacle of Danish popular humour.

Yes, you may feel pity for us, but then remember we are horrible racist and our present government would love to wipe out Christiana, the only thing we’re know for besides butter, bacon and racism.

Isn’t that awesome?

The Bee Gees are fucking awesome.

And on that closing note and bombshell: I hate you all.

Warhammer Age of Reckoning is boring.

Wednesday, September 16th, 2009


Warhammer Age of Reckoning, also know as WAR, is a really boring momorperger created by the otherwise well meaning gentlemen of Mythic Entertainment.

It was designed to be a casual PvP mmo, capturing the niche right next to World of Warcraft, who firmly controls the casual PvE niche.

altheaf_000Controls just like World of Warcraft, which is a REALLY good thing. Fucking Tabula Rasa.

The problem is, that all the PvP in WAR is utterly meaningless, all of it. You sure, you can enter into scenarios, where you kill other players. To grind up reputation.

To buy armour and weapons and similar junk, so it’s basically just a normal grind, with slightly smarter mobs to murder, well done.

Oh sure, it builds up some stupid counter that’ll give you some discounts among merchants in the respective zones PvP scenarios.

But that’s pretty much it, the scenarios are really just there to grind your levels up, and get the reputation you need to buy more crap. It has no real meaning beyond that.

Just a theme-park really, no matter how many times you ride it, the only thing that can happen is the occasional catastrophic breakdown.

There’s also a bunch of Castles you can capture for your side, which in itself isn’t anything spectacular, except being fairly entertaining. But you can also capture them for your Guild, which makes them a billion times more interesting.

Problem is, it costs money to keep the Castles/Keeps/Who the fuck cares? under control, and the only real benefit is prestigious banners on the keep, which few will ever notice and boost to the Guilds own internal experience counter.

And sure, there’s the opertunity to grind your way up to a Siege of the opposing sides Capital, where you can, Guess what?

Wrong, you can throw it all the way back on the capitals internal Experience, so the other side has to GRIND the City back to up to level whatever.

So essentially a waste of time.

So can WAR be saved? Sure it can, if Mythic would stop realising more and more retarded PvE “free expansions”, what the hell is the point of an expansion if all it is, is a BIGGER and BETTER fucking grindfest.

What does WAR need? The fucking BORDER PRINCES that is!

BorderPrincesMapYeah! That’s what they need.

The Border Princes are basically just a whole bunch of forts, small cities and small dwarf holds scattered just across the southern border of the Empire.

Several zones full of capturable cities, forts, holds, encampments of different sizes, locations, some obvious, other hidden.

It’d be great wouldn’t it, capturing a small city, getting taxes and cheap equipment from the local merchants in return, some PvE activities like protecting caravans.

On in the case of an old Dwarf hold, going down into the depths and murdering goblins and crap, yeah, Tunnel fighting in the dark corners underneath the old World.

Hell, it’s the Border Princes, guilds that have anything permanent in the areas, should be able to declare war against their neighbours, even if they are nominally on the same side. If they aren’t, a declaration isn’t available, for you are already at WAR!

And PvP on all the time, everywhere, even inside the cities you control yourself. Should be a few minor timers, just to keep the cities safe from being destroyed every single night.

That would just be frustrating. But think about it, your guild goes and captures a small city on the top of a hill, and there you are, a Proud Guild of Order extending the authority of Order into the uncontrolled anarchy of the Border Princes, and you’re getting PAID for your success.

And the longer and better you hold your little city, the more people will show up, more caravans, more opportunities.

And a much greater loss when the Destruction fellows show up and ruin everything, unless you manage to defend yourself.

Or perhaps you’re holding some old Dwarf Hold against attacks from another old Hold, smashing into each other in dark Tunnels under the ground.

See? That’ll make a fucking great expansion, hell, I’d pay for this, PvP with more meaning that just fucking grind, grind, grind.

Remember the forums and the Twitter.

Hello, this is a special for all my fans from AL!

Tuesday, September 23rd, 2008

As a few of you may have noticed, I decided to advertise my delightful entry about how big a loser a member of the ever delightful forums was/is/will always be.

My endeavour was however foiled. In part by Michael’s lack of a meaningful life, but mostly because I myself are way to lazy to really care.

It’s simply to much of a bother to pretend you can actually stand most of you Japanophile cartoon freaks. You and your pitiful little existence, you care so much for your filthy little collection of HTML and CSS.

Guess what scumbags? Your little insignificant shitstain of a forum doesn’t matter and neither does your stupid convention.

Then again, conventions never really matter do they? Except Industrial Conventions; and that’s just because of the free shit you get.

I am done for the night though, as I tried to post in the thread that was deleted before anyone really saw it.

A very Soviet method, let’s erase what we do not like, and do not wish discussed.

Fortunately enough, the eternal watch of Ragnarokz never ends.

So I grabbed some Screenshots before I made my post, which is probably why the managed to ban me before I managed to reply. Should have used a different not-caps-lock nickname. Oh well:

My Reply:

It’s never unnecessary to bring up the fact that everyone who regularly post on this forum are nothing but pitiful shells of human beings.

Also, still fun.

But I’m done for now, got Warhammer Online to play! FOR SIGMAR!


And even that was a little lie, as I play as a dwarf.

And I sure do have a grudge, hahaha, no I don’t.

I was just bored.

And I’m off.