Posts Tagged ‘useless’

I fucking hate football with the passion of ten thousand burning suns.

Sunday, October 11th, 2009

I really fucking hate football, I hate the fans, the silly rules, the enormous amounts of money inbred morons are paid and the marketing bullshit the increasingly desperate big fucking clubs make.

I particularly dislike the fact that football is the basis for how you’re treated in most schools, you suck at football? Welcome to the fat, smelly nerds! Come, join the permanent virginity party!

It wont end until you fuck some furry landwhale of a woman/man, who either has a vagina that lies at the bottomless pit of fat or a penis obscured by lard and diabetes.

Yup, you haven’t got a chance unless you’re really good at football, and by football, I mean sports, I wasn’t good at football, not because I was fat, I’ve fortunately always been able to never go beyond two points to much on the BMI.

I just sucked at Sports and Atheletics, and “SLAM”, I’m delegated to the lower areas of school hierarchy, as I couldn’t kick a fucking ball, I could argue my way through politics and knew a shit-load about pretty much everything.

But I couldn’t kick a fucking ball.

Also, I suffered from Asthma, which we actually fist discovered years after I finally managed to get away from school mandated sports, might have helped me if it had been discovered earlier, but everyone just assumed i was lazy and/or incompetent.

Lovely isn’t it?

A clear symptom of a society where the critically important aspect and worth of a proper education has been replaced with being able to run fast and talk shit about women in fast and noisy way.

This isn’t the fucking feudal age any more, a single chemist is worth seven billion football players, even if it takes more time to become a chemist or a physicist or anything even vaguely intellectual.

It’s amazing isn’t it? And yet, I don’t see anyone wearing Niels Bohr T-shirts running around.

Which really is a shame, he’s a lot cooler than any rap artist around,Danish physicist, invented nuclear bomb with a guy from Germany and a bunch of yanks, isn’t that awesome? In a horrible oh god people died way.

But no, instead we remember some random Argentinian, who is now fat.

Who did what? Ran around on a grassy field several times, fucked many women and annoyed the shit out of me, by persistingly breathing the same air as me. So yes, I really fucking hate football.

I like Ice hockey though, because the chance of the participants dying are higher. Fucking bastards the lot of you.

So fuck of, you stupid football fans, buy a Niels Bohr T-shirt and an Albert Einsten hat rather than fucking Arsenal.

Katy Perry is about as interesting as late Italian Post-Modern Brutalist Brickworks

Wednesday, October 7th, 2009

Yeah, sorry, she really isn’t anything absurdly interesting or fascinating, as her lunatic fans make her seem like, which is annoying, I was almost expecting decent, and just got boring generic crap.

I’ll give her points for this one, not a gram of redundant fanservice sex appeal, she’s dressed perfectly normal, even if she tries to grab a bit of Björk’s magic with the see-through umbrella.

It’s music for the kind of people who think they are intellectuals, but are really just arrogant little bastards, who deserves to be shot for wearing enormous sunshades.

The song is really simple though, and by that, I mean boring.

Throwing in retro-sex appeal is one hell of a bewildering thing to do, personally I find any fashion from before 1959 primitive and barbaric, a remnant of a time where a woman belonged in the thralls of obedience, kitchen and children.

Sad that it’s glorified like that.


Unfortunately “Hot’n’cold” isn’t really embeddable, probably because she hasn’t realized that Record Companies are malevolent bastards who doesn’t benefit anyone beyond a few far shareholders.

It’s an odd blend of “Girl Power” and yet, the line “You change your mind, like a girl changes clothes” is so fundamentally stereotypically wrong and morally bankrupt it’s actually painful to hear.

Apparently the song is about how Katy is a hideously forceful person, and she’s trying to force some poor bastard into a marriage he’s pretty clearly not interested in at all.

Not sure what’s with all this marriage bullshit in these days, it’s like how society just moves forwards and backwards all the time.

In the 1980’s it was popular to marry years after you had freaking kids, rather than before, sure kept the divorce numbers down.

And why the hell is she dressed like that? Did her sales start to drop, so her “manager” is forcing her into a more mainstream slut image? How delightful.


They sure have.

Let’s play the “Katy might be lesbian” card, well done Record Company, well done indeed.

Like to demean an entire sexual preference a bit more? Perhaps manufacture a further reinforcement of the twisted vision of femininity the youth gets today?

No fucking wonder we have a lot of youth crime today.

And guess what? It gets worse.

I like how she throws out Penn and Teller, sure they are reactionary lunatics, but they still have more talent than she does.

Should have stick with Gospel, saved us from yet another generic pop-star.

When in doubt, Trust your sources.

Saturday, September 12th, 2009

(9:50:28 PM) Sutaseiu: ps thanks for the entertainment, I was getting bored
(9:57:45 PM) lazeriusbalfour: You still pestering me?
(9:57:53 PM) Sutaseiu: hardly pestering
(9:57:57 PM) lazeriusbalfour: Unless you’ve got some more interesting shots, bugger off.
(9:58:10 PM) Sutaseiu: aaaww can’t we talk nicely like we used to? (Haven’t talked with her for ages.)
(9:59:03 PM) lazeriusbalfour: We used to? We haven’t talked for ages you dimwit, you just popped up a few days ago with a shitload of images.
(9:59:12 PM) lazeriusbalfour: Now sod off.
(9:59:26 PM) Sutaseiu: so cranky
(9:59:53 PM) lazeriusbalfour: So pierced nipples.
(10:00:02 PM) Sutaseiu: yep
(10:01:43 PM) lazeriusbalfour: Having some problems with your self-image, thus you attempt to reinforce it with a sexualization of your mammary glands?
(10:01:56 PM) Sutaseiu: Hmm
(10:02:08 PM) Sutaseiu: No, I just felt like mutilating a part of myself, and tattoos are too expensive
(10:02:33 PM) Sutaseiu: still want to easily find a decent job, so almost anything visible is out of the question
(10:03:21 PM) lazeriusbalfour: You do realize, that pierced nipples are easily visible through most light cloathing?
(10:03:41 PM) Sutaseiu: that’s why getting it done as fall and winter are coming was a smart idea
(10:04:43 PM) lazeriusbalfour: That makes absolutely no sense, as spring usual comes after winter, unless your amazing powers of predictions see a fucking ICE AGE coming next spring. In which case your piercings can be very useful.
(10:05:17 PM) lazeriusbalfour: As a rudimentary coat hanger for the psychopath to hang your skin on.
(10:05:18 PM) Sutaseiu: By the time spring comes around, they should have healed, and if I was wearing a shirt that light, I could take them out and using fishing wire/etc to keep the holes open
(10:05:38 PM) Sutaseiu: and spring is usually still rather cool here
(10:06:28 PM) lazeriusbalfour: And tattoos cost by the square-centimetres.
(10:06:33 PM) lazeriusbalfour: Must be expensive.
(10:07:14 PM) Sutaseiu: I want my full back done
(10:07:20 PM) Sutaseiu: and they charge by the hour here
(10:08:39 PM) Sutaseiu: piercings are far cheaper
(10:08:50 PM) lazeriusbalfour: Of course they are.
(10:09:10 PM) lazeriusbalfour: Still nothing interesting to give me so I can ridicule Towers? No?
(10:09:13 PM) lazeriusbalfour: Fuck off then.
(10:09:21 PM) Sutaseiu: nah, I don’t have problems with him lately
(10:14:05 PM) Sutaseiu: Still I’ll work on that picture thing for you

I’ll be waiting my dear.

Animeleague: The Overview

Saturday, September 12th, 2009

Well, it’s pretty much over and done with for this round. If I kept throwing shit at them, they might just think I cared.

Can’t have now can we.

So as a final, I’ll be giving you a walkthrough of the issues of a community, of the type Animeleague belongs in.

Anime-themed forums, it isn’t really an anime forum in any way or shape, as the vast majority of the forums purpose is social interaction and general discussion.

So it’s just anime-themed, the signatures, avatars and general layout reeks with standard mangaesque drawings and photoshops.

Now, the main issues with these kind of forums, and with animeleague especially, is that there’s no sense of criticism. Even the most awful contributions are elevated as mana from Mount fucking Olympus.

Now, that wouldn’t be a problem, in a dreamworld, made of puppies and sunshine. This lack of criticism and attentionwhoring, creates an atmosphere that’s not realistic in any way or shape.

To a degree, attentionwhores make it a long way in pornography I suppose. It’s just that sooner or later you have to show some actual skills too.

And how you can do this and not expect troubles are beyond me:


Yes, what a good idea.

Now, before you go nuts, this didn’t go as expected, everyone and their dog went “That’s fucking retarded”. Stacey expected some positive feedback, perhaps even a “Pics plx”.

Surprisingly, it didn’t go that way:


And as Matt said:


She probably had pictures of the atrocity taken and ready to post Matt, wouldn’t even surprise me at all. Would disgust me.

Guess the whole issue of “treat women like whores” is living good and well inside her twisted little head.

Oh wait, she’s fat, I totally forgot.


Haven’t got a clue who “Joel” is, but he/she/it should stop by one day, hang around, have a coke. Also, the guy in the second post was probated, apparently he/she/it had done a bunch of other stuff.

Still a pretty good reply, on most forums, he/she/it would have been a hero.


So, this is how things are done behind the scenes, back when I had the misfortune of being a volunteer on the forums, internal censorship would have created a fucking shitstorm.

So Fortune here isn’t even allowed to comment about the administration of a specific forum, how delightful, I guess her opinion is against the opinion of Michael “Freesaiyan” Towers.

Another problematic issue with these kind of forums are fascist leadership with no opportunity for debate, even among staff members internally.


I’ve titled this one “wasted effort”. Because that’s really what is.

In the eyes of the generic members of the forums, the rules exist to keep the bright sparkling creative members down and out of the way.

So they can feel special without any sort of effort or creativity.

I remember during one of my “I’m bored let’s use a proxy and mess around on animeleague” periods a few years a back. I could almost see the terror my originality caused among the members of the forums, it was awesome.

Which brings me to another point, nepotism. Staff members aren’t selected due to skill or anything in that area, it’s all popularity.

Or having a friend on staff, suggesting you in a violent and threatening manner. That’s not really a very good system, seeing as the popular are usually the ones who smack their tits in the face of the peons or the ones who appeal most to the baser instincts.

Or who watches the most Naruto.

As a closing argument, remember.

Don’t take the Internet to serious.


I shall now salute the New World Order for the rest of the next 34 seconds, all the way to the Forums!

More Vandalism and you

Friday, September 11th, 2009

Here we are again. Unfortunately, the good people of has decided to censor the term “Ragnarokz” and replace it with “moron”.

Absolutely delightful, and actually remarkably competent. Probably Matt’s idea.


Internet Lawyers! Drama! Action! A weirdos on the Internet, all that an more on Tonight’s Edition of the FOOOOORUM WATCH!


The Truth is much stronger than a lie, I refer here to this and this.

And Towers, what keeps you from getting a decent job is the fact that you think your fucking forum is in any way or shape important.


It’s not a serious fucking article you dimwitted British idiot. It’s a parady based on the large flaws in your soulless personality. Like when you had sex with this!


Let me quote the imaginary lawyer that could be hypothetically conjured up from this.

“Well Mr. Towers, as the website in question is American and covered under American parody law, there isn’t really anything we can do.”

“Also, I’m afraid that It’ll cost you more than you presently earn to conduct this case under American law, have a good day Mr. Towers.”

“No sexual favours are not legitimate currency, also, I now play for the other team, forever.”

“Now take your fucking shirt back on.”


Tsunade: All people on the Internet and on anime-themed shit forums like yours, deserve all that.

Matt: Who cares?


Space Cowboy is pretty much spot on, guess you have to be a bit more careful with what you do Michael, how unfortunate.


They’d probably laugh in your face if you ask them for anything, also, Mr. Towers isn’t even being that severely attacked.

I’ve seen worse.


You’re right, Free isn’t a Paedophile, he just likes them nice and young.


Ah Rukia, it must be pleasant to be so naive really. Some companies probably wouldn’t Towers, mostly because he’s a freak of epic proportions.


For those of you who want the text of the entire very loooooong and very useless post, it’s right here!


And this idiot decides to give us a full review of the entire thread in a single post, with only the smallest amount of spaces.

Well done, well done indeed.

The rest of the thread is just a bit of circlejerking. Nothing worth anyones time.

Once again thanks to Stacey and Revy, who are now trying desperately to backtrack, but hey, that means they might just give me a whole mess of dirt another time.

I look forward to cooperating with you both another time.

Last one’s tomorrow, just a general walkthrough of the problems, flaws and mediocracy of anime-themed forums like animeleague.

Vandalism and you.

Thursday, September 10th, 2009

You can probably guess what this one’s all about, can’t you?

Wrong, it’s about ANIMELEAGUE.NET, not about filthy cybersex you freak.



Reichspräsident Michael Towers just asked his forum staff to commit gross acts of vandalism on another site, isn’t that lovely?



It still amazes me to a considerable degree that a man with the charisma of a burnt potato can create such loyalty and anger in his volunteer moderation staff.

Yet another case of “Power attracts” and seeing as Tower’s only power is being the owner of a silly generic forum, all the people he attracts are stupid, bland and probably fat.


Really isn’t much of interest from the actual content of the post, but look at that signature, Pokemon? Ha!


Dear Copernicus, have you seen that? It’s all just bullshit.


18.000 members. Yes, of course.

700 of them active eh? Pretty sure Encyclopedia Dramatica can manage that one, especially seeing as this was in his private staff section. So, what 30 people? Bound to be a couple who realize how silly the whole thing is.


Nope, they just moved it.


So, Towers talking about hacking a wikipedia web software.

Pies trying in vain.


Free digging his grave deeper, Space Cowboy stating the obvious.


Towers really hasn’t got a clue how the Internet, or life, works. Raising to the bait, just makes it better for us Michael.

So please keep trying, don’t stop the horrible fight.


Sweetheart, Mike would need something in the range of rape and murder before he could claim higher moral ground that his “opponents”.

Also, blackmail, nice how he really brings out the WORST of his followers.


Natürlich, mein Führer, Reichsführer-SS Zelgadis ist immer mit Ihnen! SIEG HEIL!


And I end it on a CLIFFHANGER! That’ll fucking teach you little scumbags. It’s time for Internet Legal Action! The Greatest Threat since the Danish Army around 1940!

See you next time, thanks to Stacey and Revy!

Paranoia on the Anime Forums Part Two!

Wednesday, September 9th, 2009

Paranoia on the Anime Forums Part Two! Operation: Overlord!

Welcome back to the Paranoia train!


To clarify, this has nothing to do with me. I have nothing to do with any of the elements involved in this entire silly little e-conflict.

I’m just bored and likes to fling shit at people for no apparent reason.

Also, I really don’t like Michael “Dragonballz” Towers.



You know what’s horribly wrong right know? The word “betray” from Padfoot.

I wasn’t aware that your silly little generic teenager forum was a fucking cult my dear Padfoot.

Betray? By the Prophet that’s the most retarded thing I’ve seen all damn day. It’s a fucking forum you dimwitted idiot, not a fucking religious movement, not a fucking liege lord.

You’re not a fucking vassal of some stereotypically incompetent monarch.

Even if he wants to be one.


Zelgadis, there we have you again. Do you ever stop being useless? Probably not. I sincerely wish nothing but nightmares upon you, until that far off day where you STOP POSTING USELESS ARSE COVERING BULLSHIT!


Watch out for Reichsführer-SS Padfoot, he’s hunting the traitors that dare to oppose his eternal Lord and Master!

Give him a bigger fucking blowjob will you?


Yeah, not really the most fascinating part, neither is this:


And to run this rather lacklustre feature into the ground, more arse covering bullshit.


So what conclusions can we draw from all this?

Zelgadis is a pathetic worm.

Thank you and goodbye.

Paranoia on the Anime Forums Part One!

Tuesday, September 8th, 2009

Paranoia on the Anime Forums Part One! The Shining Path!


So, welcome back to yet another feature about the silly little buggers of the Animeleague forums! And it’s yet another case of Freesaiyan being absolutely insanely paranoid and thinking that everyone and everything is out to get him, so let’s help him along!

It’s almost a shame that I can’t get my hands on all the stuff that goes through the PMs and IMs, but then again, would I actually want to see it?

Probably not:


I really haven’t got a clue who Jason or Showmasters actually are. The Grapewine tells me something about attentionwhores and event stealing, seems fair enough to presume such.


And here comes all the stuff we’ve been waiting for! Paranoia! Theories about where the leak comes from! Who did it!

Why me of course! I’m sitting here in my corner of the Internet and twirling my moustache and polishing my tophat.

Me, and a few others.


Zelgadis here is a moron, of course not a single person in the “anime” community likes you, you’re a bunch of twats. Your boss is a selfish moron who just wants to accumulates whatever power his pitiful choice of life potentially makes available.

So yes Zelgadis, you are dense. Like harden steel.


I have no clue who any of those are, hasn’t stopped me.

And fuck, is that ever a shitty signature.


How do you measure loyalty? Well, The Lords Resistance Army of Dem. Congo forces its child soldiers to kill their own parents. Hitler faced his people against each other to keep them away from his own total power.

And of course, the problem about his question is that IT’S A FUCKING ANIME FORUM YOU FREAK!


Oh sweet Buddah that’s awesome!

“People that hate us and are involved in convoluted plots to wage war against a web community”

It makes me sound like a fucking supervillain again! Really Matt, it’s just that people think your community is a stinking puss-filled wound on an already stupid sub-culture.


A Second Life account? Are you fucking kidding me? Second Life isn’t a videogame, it’s just another place for furries to propagate their foul fetish.

And it’s just me.

And my Social Engineering.

And a bunch of your staff members being REALLY angry.

Thanks to Stacey and Revy!

The King is dead, let’s piss on his grave.

Thursday, July 9th, 2009


This was sent to me. Three times:

Let’s get this trainwreck rolling:

“The Rest and Pieces, his Own words” is quite possibly the single most awful song I have ever heard in my entire life, even worse than anything Chase did.

It’s a retardedly poor song remixing in elements of Michael Jackson, apparently designed as some sort of memorial, unfortunately, it fails so critically that Old Jackson the creep would probably rip off his nose and force feed it to this inhuman song.

Rawdog, which is a fucking stupid name, you should be ashamed of yourself for concocting this crap.

“Spontaneous” actually has a musical element which has the sounds of an old school James Bond theme. Kinda odd how Rawdog has the voice of a ten-billion year old paedophile in this one, but not in the first one.

Apparently the song is about his narcissism, well done, can you get any more shallow and useless?

“If I revealed my soul”, HA! If you “revealed” your soul Pope Ratzinger would rise from his Life-Support throne in the deepest reaches of the Vatican and hunt you down in his Pope-Deathtank.

Shitty music, incomprehensible lyrics and it’s so quite that I can barely hear the dribble.

“Zoom”. Isn’t that a name that belongs to a J-pop song?

Oh joy! Electronic bullshit Rap, like this idiot wasn’t horrible already.

Oh wait, it’s just this creepy bastard singing really quietly about relationships? Or something, fuck if I can get through it.

“Music is my Religion”. No Rawdog, this is your religion: Sex, money and mediocre rap.

That’s all you are, the only odd thing about you, is where most Rappers are obnoxious, loud and honest, you’re silent, annoying and stupid.

Horrible song, moron tries to appear “intellectual” and “philosophical”, probably works, mostly due to fans of Rap being tremendously dumb.

“On and on And on And on And on” and on and on and on and on and why wont this stop? Why does this even exist? Who told this idiot that his crap was in any meaningful way decent?

Horrible, the “music” if we can call it that, is so mindbogglingly horrible that I am slowly developing cancer in my inner ear.

Lyrics makes no sense.

“Those Onomatopoeiais a generic rap song. Only thing that’s appealing is Rawdogs half-way decent voice, to bad the lyrics are so horrible it’s actually painful.

I’m not fucking kidding here children, my right knee is actually hurting now, I even think my dog doesn’t like it. Fucking awful.

“Off Springs”.

What the fuck? This “song” starts out with this song from LazyTown:

And then becomes absolutely horrible. To such a degree that it is a downright Human Rights Violation, and possibly a Copy-rights violation.

Even has an old whistling tune in the background and then the LazyTown pirate going “OHHH” at random times.

The song isn’t even fluid in any way. How the hell could anyone ever think this was decent in any way or form? Awful, beyond awful.

It’s going so far beyond awful, it’s not even good or “Cult”.

“Something it Girl”. I have no fucking clue what “Twurl” means. I’m sure it’s something to do with Girls Rear Parties. Especially juding from the “J-lo” part of the lyrics.

The music sounds like something from a demo-tape of an old keyboard.

“A Pearl” is the final song and oddly enough the most popular of all his crap.

The music could be good, it’s ruined by the beat song, why the hell can’t these fucking rap artists at least try and make some actual music, instead of just endlessly repeating crap.

Beat my ass, fucking cop-out.

An easy way for talentless idiots to avoid actually doing anything even vaguely sophisticated.

And Rawdog.

I have more talent in my lower intestines.

And I’m a tonedeaf nerd who only managed to master the Ukulele in the same way you have mastered the English language.

Why do you even exist?

Sierra Leone should be ashamed of itself.

Thursday, July 2nd, 2009

Blakka-P send me a Telegraphic letter of idiocy through the Post-Modern Expressionism website that is

Whats up my friend? Im an aspiring artist from Sierra Leone with a lot of interesting songs, If you dont mind, please come check out my page and give me a listen. Leave a comment if you like what you hear. Thanks!! Stay safe

Blakka P

He gets a single lonely point for being polite.

“Superior” is the first song. I has no interest, and the music sounds like it’s being played by a drunk German with spears through his ears.

It’s fucking awful. I have no clue what the hell he’s singing, I can hear some occasional English words, but ultimately, it’s like listening to a burning car wreck on Croatian.

“Look Good”
apparently only features him, which leads me this theorem:

“Any song that Blakka P appears in automatically becomes a giant noisy mess, and loses the priviledge of being called “Music””.

He also quotes Pac-Man with the occasional “Wakka wakka wakka”.

“African Girl” which also features him, cements my Theorem further, with being a giant mess of noises. It has literally no structure at all.

“Conversation” is about talking.

I’m not fucking kidding, it’s a fucking song about talking with other people and how it makes him “creative”.

Yes, creative in a genre which doesn’t do anything but puke out more shit about “hoes” and “gardening tools”.


Wow. Good Lord of the Dark Shores, why? Why did you do this you fucking moron? This song is simply awful, not only do you talk some utter incomprehensible dialect, you talk so fast noone sane would ever be able to get any of it.

Awful, simply awful.

“Invisible girl” actually has a poorly played Guitar in it.

And a Chorus, which sucks.

The most advance song so far, and yet it’s all wrong.

The recording quality is awful. The lyrics sounds like something SETI received. The chorus sounds like ten billion morons howling and the Guitar is played by a tone-deaf dead man.

“The Deal”
is about Blakka’s utter disregard for Business Management. And actually complains about how apparently he’s having an easy time getting a contract.

Impressively small ego there Mr. Sierra Leone.

“Take it away”, yes, please take it away, far away.

Preferable out somewhere around Jupiter, on fire.

“Not a Badman” is just as awful as the rest. It has no structure and simply noise.

The Lyrics are utterly absurd, where the sentence “I’m no badman” actually pops up.

No badman?

Why don’t I ever hear any fucking rap where you actually use REAL FUCKING ENGLISH? Instead of your stupid bullshit dialects and slang. Who the fuck cares about your stupid skin colour.


And for fucks sake, try to avoid using lyrics that look like something a twelve year old wrote.