Posts Tagged ‘hiphop’

Sierra Leone should be ashamed of itself.

Thursday, July 2nd, 2009

Blakka-P send me a Telegraphic letter of idiocy through the Post-Modern Expressionism website that is

Whats up my friend? Im an aspiring artist from Sierra Leone with a lot of interesting songs, If you dont mind, please come check out my page and give me a listen. Leave a comment if you like what you hear. Thanks!! Stay safe

Blakka P

He gets a single lonely point for being polite.

“Superior” is the first song. I has no interest, and the music sounds like it’s being played by a drunk German with spears through his ears.

It’s fucking awful. I have no clue what the hell he’s singing, I can hear some occasional English words, but ultimately, it’s like listening to a burning car wreck on Croatian.

“Look Good”
apparently only features him, which leads me this theorem:

“Any song that Blakka P appears in automatically becomes a giant noisy mess, and loses the priviledge of being called “Music””.

He also quotes Pac-Man with the occasional “Wakka wakka wakka”.

“African Girl” which also features him, cements my Theorem further, with being a giant mess of noises. It has literally no structure at all.

“Conversation” is about talking.

I’m not fucking kidding, it’s a fucking song about talking with other people and how it makes him “creative”.

Yes, creative in a genre which doesn’t do anything but puke out more shit about “hoes” and “gardening tools”.


Wow. Good Lord of the Dark Shores, why? Why did you do this you fucking moron? This song is simply awful, not only do you talk some utter incomprehensible dialect, you talk so fast noone sane would ever be able to get any of it.

Awful, simply awful.

“Invisible girl” actually has a poorly played Guitar in it.

And a Chorus, which sucks.

The most advance song so far, and yet it’s all wrong.

The recording quality is awful. The lyrics sounds like something SETI received. The chorus sounds like ten billion morons howling and the Guitar is played by a tone-deaf dead man.

“The Deal”
is about Blakka’s utter disregard for Business Management. And actually complains about how apparently he’s having an easy time getting a contract.

Impressively small ego there Mr. Sierra Leone.

“Take it away”, yes, please take it away, far away.

Preferable out somewhere around Jupiter, on fire.

“Not a Badman” is just as awful as the rest. It has no structure and simply noise.

The Lyrics are utterly absurd, where the sentence “I’m no badman” actually pops up.

No badman?

Why don’t I ever hear any fucking rap where you actually use REAL FUCKING ENGLISH? Instead of your stupid bullshit dialects and slang. Who the fuck cares about your stupid skin colour.


And for fucks sake, try to avoid using lyrics that look like something a twelve year old wrote.

Welcome to NIGHTMARE!

Wednesday, July 1st, 2009

Chase Stacks send me a message though the teletron that is

And boy, what a message.

And I thought I had a big ego, let’s see “Im your favorite rapper regardless of what kinda music u like or any other reasons to deny it. lol.. Plus im just an awsome dude.”

How delightful for you Chase, unfortunately for you, I despise rappers and consider them the scum of the Earth, and look forward to the day we finally get to cleanse society for you useless hate-indulging, moronic, incompetent, partly-literate, post-modern poets of shame and utter pillocks.

Still, I am, if nothing else, a deeply honest man, so I’ll listen to your “music”.

You fitly little bard.

“Rep my city” sounds pretty much as every other rap poetry I’ve ever heard. I’m having a few problems actually figuring out what the hell your friends and you are actually singing, but hey.

I heard “Vancouver”, so based on that, I must presume it’s a lengthy ode to Vancouver’s public parks.

“Turn it up” starts with decent techno, then goes into the usual generic rap “beat”. I could hear the word “paper”, so this must a poem about how the modern Paper industry’s burning down the rainforest.

I could be wrong.

“Keep it dropping on them” has a lot of niggers in it. Apparently.

“So Fly” starts like the three before it.

Apparently this one is about the despicable Fox Hunts of Upper Class Great Britain. And apparently they owe him money.

“I’m going to shine” starts the same way the theme to Warcraft II does. Which as a horrible nerd, I find hilarious.

This one is a romantic ballad about how utter miserable he (The Artist) was when his girlfriend OD’ed on drugs or whatever the hell people like you do when you’re not polluting the world with your ego and awful music.

“Walk with me” makes my ears scream out, like a billion voices screamed and where suddenly silenced.

Apparently it’s just a Prayer, not in the Gothic style, more like the “Generic American bullshit” style.

“Private Dancer” starts slightly different, but ends the same. And is the same.

And it’s about him wanting a stripper. How delightful. A return to form.

“Wife girl”starts like a song from The Sims.

I can’t do this, why the hell did you make this crap Chase? Why the hell did you decided to become a rapper? The Sex? The Drugs? The fucking money?

Enjoy sucking the tit of the mediocracy you useless generic piece of biological waste.

“I’ve got to live mine” has a fucking piano! Holy shit! The most advanced rap I’ve heard so far.

Still fucking horrible. Also, apparently in this one he wants money from someone or something or other.

Who the fuck cares?

“Let’s go” is the final song he has graced us with, and Thank the Dark Gods for that.

Listening to it makes me want to murder small nations, like Lichenstein.

Chase, you whore of a Stereotype, I sincerely hope you will have your success, and you will become a big “White rapper”.

And I fucking hope you get caught with cocaine, end up in jail, and get raped by the Fascist fuckers there.

Enjoy your future.

As either a hopelessly generic rapper, regular joe or anal-rape every night mate.

Or perhaps you’ll listen and become something original and interesting.

Ha, fat chance, you probably wont even read this.

You loser.

And to turn off the hatetrain:

Yeah, just chill out.

Never mind the screaming Dane

Saturday, March 14th, 2009


Coritno, why? For the love of all things starting with the letter “b” did you ever contact me and ask for “Some Love”?

Did you honestly think anyone with a limited understanding of music and noise would ever enjoy your shit? If yes, then please, share your secret?

What kinda fucking wonder-drug are you on?

We start with “Hustle Hard”, It starts with the title repeated in the old “Smurfs” style, anyone remember those stupid CDs back in the 1990’s, you know? The ones where the took normal music and remade them with Helium voices.

It starts like that, and then gets worse, it’s not an intro, IT’S THE FUCKING CHORUS! Fortunately, I only have a short sample at my disposal.

And thank Eris for that.

“STACK” is the next evidence the World Court will use when I get in power.

I’ll try to decipher the lyrics, it’s something about someone called “Stack”, presumably a guy working with moving of furniture.

Who likes prostitutes? Fuck if I know. Horrible shit.

“Release” is what I’m thinking about right now, please release me from this shit! It’s about girls dancing and acting like whores.

And him/her/it not having any control, probably because he’s a fucking barbarian.

Do the world a favour Coritino, get a real fucking job!

Double update today.

My nipples imploded with delight.

Saturday, March 7th, 2009

Gabriel Bautista, henceforward referred to as “Convicted by the ICC”, send me a messages through the tubes, about his recent musical endeavours, who due to my sarcastic nature, I presume is absolute shit.

According to his awful Myspace site, his genre is “Hip Hop/R&B/Pop”, which is basically the Auschwitz of music, nothing good ever came from it, and everything that was good, has been killed off ages ago.

He has, of course, left us poor unenlightened peasants some of his “work” to listen to, and by listen, I mean vomit over.

His first attempt is called “Royalty”, which has two things going for it, It’s short, and has no singing, lucky fucking us.

“Body Heat” is the same thing, except it sounds like it was written for the Rap remake of Commander Keen.

The trend continues in “Bounce”, I’m starting to think that these are all just samples for us poor working class peons to marvel at, not sure how that works for him.

Probably not all that well, and by “not all that well”, I mean, I fucking hope nothing is happening concerning his crap.

“Fly with me” is about as original as burnt toast with cheese on it, sounds like something Vangelis would make, if he was HIGH AND BRAINDEAD!

“Gangsta Wave”, oh dear Eris, why? Seriously, who the fuck things the word “Gangsta” is cool anyway? I know it’s just a retarded slang word for “gangster”, but who the fuck are you kidding?

“Few’cha Fresh” beats the standing record of making no sense at all, pretty sure it’s something about how few are fresh, BUT I WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO TELL, AS IT’S JUST A FUCKING SAMPLE!

Gabriel, why the fuck am I listening to samples without lyrics? Fuck off back to whatever pit spawned you.

It is time.

Thursday, May 29th, 2008

come and show some luv to ya dog Linkking
i wanna be a superstar

It even had the subject line: “Big Dreamz”. Even from the begining this idiot makes me hate him, HATE HIM, hate him like the old lady who pays all her groceries in small change, like the fat lady in the bus sitting next to you, releasing digestive gasses, like conservatives and religious nutters.

I fucking dipise him before I’ve even listened to his music, I hate him even though I’ve never meet him, all based on his shitty messages, well done “Linkking“.

Perhaps this will teach you not to mass messages random people on the Internet, not that I’d ever presume you being capable of actually learning anything.

But on with the show, or the nightmare, depending on how pissed off I’ll end up.

“Move ya body” has a pretty unorginal title, has the start up “aahhhahh” of Wannabe, and has a pretty generic sound all over. It actually takes over a minute before the actual song starts up.

And although it fails to suffer from the usual endlessly repeating beat, it does suffer from people who can’t sing. Which is a pretty serious problem.

The music is good, but whoever the fuck Linkking is, can’t fucking sing.

“Just chillin” continues to be an affront to grammatical spelling everywhere. The music is endlessly repeating, well done returning to standard.

The singer is one again fucking horrible.

“Tell me why featuring Ezu Bean” has fairly decent music, the lyrics are the usual incomprehensible ebonics or whatever the yanks call it these days. The singer is once more, way the fuck below average.

“Freakin featuring Klelia” makes me cry inside. Endless beat, endless song, shitty lyrics, HATE HATE! ARRRGGHHH! I’m going to murder the fucking planet for this! FUUUUUUUUUUCK.

Yes, well.

Linkking, you are a horrible singer, your songs are boring as fuck, your lyrics are horrible and most of your music is utter shit.

And whoever Klelia is, she/he/it should really stop singing, or talking, or breating.

Ever again.

Also, picture of the offending elements:

I can\'t tell the who\'s who? Can you

Random moron sends me message on myspace!

Saturday, April 12th, 2008

Alert the media, some random crapturtle has send me yet another useless message of doom and overwhelming dread.

I apologize if I sent you this message already. I just wanted to be sure that I thanked you for adding this page of mine and checking my music, but I’m actually going to be deleting it soon, and before I do, I just wanted to make sure you got to my other main page. I would appreciate if you could add that other page by clicking the link below and checking out my new songs and pictures. Thanks so much, and thank you for taking time to listen to my music.

Points for not spelling like a fucking retard, points to you Nicole.

Oh wait, it’s “Nycole”, so I guess she just lost those points.

Nicole Valentina is, and I quote, ” R&B / Hip Hop / Pop”, which makes the voices in my head go “ARGGHHHHH, KILL ALL HUMANS, KILL THEM ALL”.

Let’s get this train wreck on the rails, first song is: “Sick of you”, there is some useless shoutout too, which actually has the best singing of them all.

Sick of you is a standard Hip-hop song, which means it has an endlessly repeating “beat” in the background, which will slowly drive any sane person UTTERLY FUCKING INSANE! ARAGSADGSDFGSD.

Next fucking song.

“With me featuring Who cares”, is fucking horrible. Why the fuck do people keep sending me this bullshit music, and then get vaguely offended every time I tear into their bland crap?

Horrible, simply awful. Makes me miss Spice Girls.

“Body Talk moving slow” has a utterly useless name, and makes about as much sense as Stanley Kubrick and Moebius’s horrible lovechild.

Wait, that would actually be pretty fucking awesome, oh well, the song still sucks.

“Give it up” has the most fitting name, for I am indeed very tempted to give this fucking shit up.

And then a remix of “Sick of you”, featuring yet another asshole I haven’t fucking heard of.

It still sucks.

So, I guess the Shoutout was the best song, no wonder, it has no music.