Posts Tagged ‘garbage’

Those who scream incomprehensibly beneath the table.

Monday, September 28th, 2009

Those Who Lie Beneath send me a billion lines of useless text.

First of all, thank you for opening the message and giving us this much of your time! You will be surprised with what you hear if you make your way to our profile. We promise!

We know what it’s like to be tired of the waves and waves of no name, unmotivated, unprofessional bands that are seeking your approval by the thousands. We would be embarrased to add Those Who Lie Beneath to the sea of cliche MySpace bands and we would never do that to you, or ourselves. It would not only be wasting your time, but our own. We would not go out of our way to ask you to listen to us if we didn’t think there was a good chance that you might actually enjoy it! It’s a sad state of affairs when someone has to BLOCK friend requests from musicians because they’re so tired of being unimpressed.

With that said, we’re a brand new upcoming Metal band that has recently been signed to Rise Records. This is the time in any band’s career where it’s time to push harder than you ever have before, and that means getting our name out there, getting people to hear this music whether they like it or not, and making them be familiar with the Those Who Lie Beneath name. We have posted two brand new tracks off of our upcoming debut full length album, “An Awakening”, that will be released on October 13th. We have poured our hearts and souls, given our everything to making music since we were kids, and finally, this is our chance to do something with it, our potential pay back. If want to help us with this, and it would be an immense help, truthfully, ALL you have to do is take a listen, if you dig it, accept us! Add a song to your profile so kids hear it, let some friends know, post a bulletin asking others to check it out, and/or add us to your top friends! Anything helps. This is the most important time of our lives! And if our music makes love to your earholes, PLEASE HELP US MAKE IT A GOOD ONE! It would mean the world to us.

It’s only going to get better from here and we’d love to take you along for the ride.


Wow, let’s just recap on their horrible myspace site:

A: Giant picture at the top that blocks out everything advertising something stupid: Check.
B: Billion tons of useless JPEGs replacing any link? Check.
C: Black, black, black, black? Check.

Holy shit, failed on all counts, I’m sorry Those who Scream Wolf, that’s an F-, and I’m going to have a VERY serious conversation with your families, mostly involving screaming “Why did you allow your kids to breath air?” at them for eighteen hours.

The first “song” is “Awaken”, and I have no words.

Wait, yes I have, why did you do this? Why would anyone listen to this? And why the hell do you exist?

It’s a garbage song, it sounds like the singer is a drunk longshoreman screaming through a pillow into a microphone covered in tar. I haven’t got a fucking clue what he’s singing about anyway.

The instruments are being played by hateful and spiteful people who doesn’t like little innocent kittens, and take out all their hatred on their poor instruments.

It isn’t even music, it’s just unbearable noise.

“As the Vultures circle” is the same song.

Of course it isn’t, and yet, is it? There sure isn’t any freaking difference in the general areas, both are loud and generally annoying.

“Out of Sight, Out of Mind” is exactly what I’m going to do with this. I literally cannot understand how this “noise” came to be.

It isn’t any good, it isn’t even close to decent.

The closest I come to a description is “Apocalyptic sewer garbage sound assault with intent to harm”.

It’s utterly horrible and with absolutely no chance for any sort of redemption.

Sierra Leone should be ashamed of itself.

Thursday, July 2nd, 2009

Blakka-P send me a Telegraphic letter of idiocy through the Post-Modern Expressionism website that is

Whats up my friend? Im an aspiring artist from Sierra Leone with a lot of interesting songs, If you dont mind, please come check out my page and give me a listen. Leave a comment if you like what you hear. Thanks!! Stay safe

Blakka P

He gets a single lonely point for being polite.

“Superior” is the first song. I has no interest, and the music sounds like it’s being played by a drunk German with spears through his ears.

It’s fucking awful. I have no clue what the hell he’s singing, I can hear some occasional English words, but ultimately, it’s like listening to a burning car wreck on Croatian.

“Look Good”
apparently only features him, which leads me this theorem:

“Any song that Blakka P appears in automatically becomes a giant noisy mess, and loses the priviledge of being called “Music””.

He also quotes Pac-Man with the occasional “Wakka wakka wakka”.

“African Girl” which also features him, cements my Theorem further, with being a giant mess of noises. It has literally no structure at all.

“Conversation” is about talking.

I’m not fucking kidding, it’s a fucking song about talking with other people and how it makes him “creative”.

Yes, creative in a genre which doesn’t do anything but puke out more shit about “hoes” and “gardening tools”.


Wow. Good Lord of the Dark Shores, why? Why did you do this you fucking moron? This song is simply awful, not only do you talk some utter incomprehensible dialect, you talk so fast noone sane would ever be able to get any of it.

Awful, simply awful.

“Invisible girl” actually has a poorly played Guitar in it.

And a Chorus, which sucks.

The most advance song so far, and yet it’s all wrong.

The recording quality is awful. The lyrics sounds like something SETI received. The chorus sounds like ten billion morons howling and the Guitar is played by a tone-deaf dead man.

“The Deal”
is about Blakka’s utter disregard for Business Management. And actually complains about how apparently he’s having an easy time getting a contract.

Impressively small ego there Mr. Sierra Leone.

“Take it away”, yes, please take it away, far away.

Preferable out somewhere around Jupiter, on fire.

“Not a Badman” is just as awful as the rest. It has no structure and simply noise.

The Lyrics are utterly absurd, where the sentence “I’m no badman” actually pops up.

No badman?

Why don’t I ever hear any fucking rap where you actually use REAL FUCKING ENGLISH? Instead of your stupid bullshit dialects and slang. Who the fuck cares about your stupid skin colour.


And for fucks sake, try to avoid using lyrics that look like something a twelve year old wrote.