Posts Tagged ‘drama’

Danish Defence Scandal

Friday, October 2nd, 2009

This feature is about politics, so if you don’t care about that, go look at funny cats on YouTube you pitiful loser, this feature is mainly about Denmark, so if you don’t care about Denmark, then I can completely understand.

It’s just an insignificant five million people large flat country in northern Europe, it’s hard to matter less, unless your Macedonia or Andorra,at least we’re members of the EU, they aren’t.

Not even sure of Andorra actually exist, and isn’t just a funny French joke.

Now, a few months ago, a Danish former member of our Army Elite regiment announced that he was publishing a book about his experiences and the methods used when he was a member of said Elite regiment, the “Jæger” regiment, presumably named after the Austrian Jeagers on the Napoleonic age.

The Danish Defence Command (Forsvarskommandoen) protested against it, despite the fact they where told ages ago, that he was going to write it, as they felt it was endangering the operations of Danish Soldiers in Afghanistan.

The problem, they it very late in the process, presenting themselves like slow fools, who hadn’t noticed until now, it was furthermore a problem, as the Danish constitutions protection of Free Speech and Free Publication is very strict.

And who really thinks the insurgents in Afghanistan haven’t figured out how the Danish Army operates? They problem know how the Americans operate in these days, why would they really care about the hundred or so Danish troops in the country?

So, the books is leaked on Wikileak and the published in the Danish Newspaper “Politikken“, with national coverage.

Meaning that at this stage, everyone and their dog have either read it or has the opportunity, wisely enough, the Defence Command decides to abandon their attempt to ban the book.

And decides to sue the author for violating the secrecy parts of his contract, which is called “being a sore loser”, remember, Denmark is still insignificant.

So what happens? Another big Danish newspaper publishes an “Arab” translation of the book, they’ve received through some source of theirs.

The Defence Command strikes at once “look, the insurgents now know all our secrets, we where right all along despair and shake with fear, we’re all going to DIE!”.

The Problem? The translation wasn’t actually in Arabian, apparently someone has just thrown the text into “Google translate” and hit enter, the end result was a giant mess of pseudo-Arabian, which was useless for anyone.

Except the Danish Ministry of Defence and the Danish Defence Command, who had a wonderful excuse. Conspiracy you say? Why no, yesterday it was revealed that the mock translation was actually done by the IT Manager of the Defence Command, and that the Danish Broadcasting Company got an e-mail from the Minster’s Press Secretary containing a copy.

So, apparently the Ministry of Defence was behind this, to discredit the Author as a form of traitor, acceptable? Under no fucking circumstances. The entire Defence Command staff should be fired without pension, replaced with younger officers and whatever civilian oversight there was, should be tripled.

The Danish Defence exist to protect us against external threaths and to cooperate with the EU/UN/NATO, not to manipulate the Danish people and Media like that, it’s a gross violation of the entire Danish nation.

The minster should resign at once and the entire Defence Command should too. Hell, the entire Government should, stuff like this does NOT happen without orders from above.

And the Danish Government hasn’t been doing to well for the last few months; a perfect distraction until December, when the climate conference in Copenhagen should draw attention away from the Government.

What’s going to happen? Nothing, the IT guy might be fired, some old Generals will probably resign, and the Minster will remain, useless though he may be.

And how competent is the Danish Military? I heard on the radio earlier that they’d lost one of their Drones.

Where? In Afghanistan? Iraq? Nope.

In the middle of their own fucking training area, incompetent idiots.

NEWSFLASH: Chief of Defense resigns, Minster of Defense apologizes.

Animeleague: The abomina-Webcomic!

Tuesday, September 15th, 2009

Thought I was all done with animeleague did you? Well, you thought wrong my little friends. There’s one other thing that requires my superior attention. The AL WEB-COMIC! Drawn by incompetent losers, written by people who usually write Harry Potter Slash Fan fiction and edited by people with no taste or sense of criticism.

It could only end in a massive disaster, and as I’ve mentioned before, these forums have NO sense of criticism, so the useless fuckers who made it, can’t handle any proper feedback, outside of their precious weabo japanophile animefanatical circle-jerk, and thus start crying.

They recently came out with their first issue “Al-chan’s big victory!”. Even the name of the damn thing spells damnation and plagues doesn’t it? It sure as fuck does.

alcomic1cover It’s just as awful as you’d think. And as it’s drawn by several people, I’ll have to make separate commentary on each desperate page.

We start with the cover page, at least it’s coloured. And that’s it, that’s the ONLY positive thing I can about this piece of shit. There absolutely no use of perspective, the eyes of the metro-sexual are so far down on his face, that he’s apparently suffering from Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, possibly because whoever drew this abomination suffered from it herself.

alcomic1page1 This one is oddly enough the best of the lot. Drawn by the apparent Editor-in-Charge Noddlekitty. It’s properly drawn.

But not very sophisticated, even for manga standards, it also makes pretty clear how awful the writing is, booze and boobs indeed. It also fails to betray just how awful the rest is.

alcomic1page2What the fuck just happened here? No seriously.

Time to rage! This is absolutely crap, what little there’s drawn looks like a sketch from a six-year old crack addict. And most of the fucking thing isn’t even drawn, it’s actually just a screen-shot from their fucking private comic forum.

How the fuck anyone ever though this was ANYTHING other than utter crap is beyond me and my good taste.

alcomic1page3Oh Merciful Jesus Augustus of Byzantium, why was this ever allowed to leave a sketch book?


How the hell did anyone let this out as anything other than a thread called “My art sucks, help me improve it” is beyond me! It’s better than the previous page, but that’s like saying AIDS is slightly better than fucking Ebola!

It’s awful beyond redemption, just like the previous page.

alcomic1page4It’s like a disease! It’s a fucking disease! It’s Criticism-Deficiency Syndrome, it has to be!

Why are they all thinking? Did Kisara actually try and force it upon almost a century of thought bubbles, that they mean TALKING rather than THINKING? It’s the only way I can make any fucking sense of this mess. It’s awfully drawn, written and executed.

Moving onwards to the writing: It’s fucking awful, not really anything else to it. It’s painfully generic and utter crap. None of this should EVER have been released, with the possibly exception of pages one.

So well done Noddlekitty, you suck, you just have potential NOT to suck.

Now, what’s interesting is, that in the comic thread itself, they ask for feedback:

Flake~ wrote: Be sure to leave feedback. There will be more to come in the future!

So obviously, they got feedback.


And they defend it in the usual way, it’s not suppose to be a serious webcomic, we didn’t have time to colour it, we’re useless hacks, etc… Leper did go “It’s crap stop drawing”. Which I shall change slighty to, everyone but Noddlekitty have no hope in hell, stop drawing, Noodle may carry one trying.


The rest of the feedback is bewilderingly constructive, and doesn’t take into account that 80% is utter crap with no hope at all.

Only the first page has any hope in hell, even the cover sucks.

So well done Noodlekitty.

Even of the comic is still a drawn version of a burning trainwreck.

EDIT: After a small conversation with Noodlekitty, I’ve learned that she doesn’t actually draw manga in any serious manner, thus she’s in the clear. She just did it for shits and giggles. Well done, well done indeed.

Remember the forums and the Twitter.

When in doubt, Trust your sources.

Saturday, September 12th, 2009

(9:50:28 PM) Sutaseiu: ps thanks for the entertainment, I was getting bored
(9:57:45 PM) lazeriusbalfour: You still pestering me?
(9:57:53 PM) Sutaseiu: hardly pestering
(9:57:57 PM) lazeriusbalfour: Unless you’ve got some more interesting shots, bugger off.
(9:58:10 PM) Sutaseiu: aaaww can’t we talk nicely like we used to? (Haven’t talked with her for ages.)
(9:59:03 PM) lazeriusbalfour: We used to? We haven’t talked for ages you dimwit, you just popped up a few days ago with a shitload of images.
(9:59:12 PM) lazeriusbalfour: Now sod off.
(9:59:26 PM) Sutaseiu: so cranky
(9:59:53 PM) lazeriusbalfour: So pierced nipples.
(10:00:02 PM) Sutaseiu: yep
(10:01:43 PM) lazeriusbalfour: Having some problems with your self-image, thus you attempt to reinforce it with a sexualization of your mammary glands?
(10:01:56 PM) Sutaseiu: Hmm
(10:02:08 PM) Sutaseiu: No, I just felt like mutilating a part of myself, and tattoos are too expensive
(10:02:33 PM) Sutaseiu: still want to easily find a decent job, so almost anything visible is out of the question
(10:03:21 PM) lazeriusbalfour: You do realize, that pierced nipples are easily visible through most light cloathing?
(10:03:41 PM) Sutaseiu: that’s why getting it done as fall and winter are coming was a smart idea
(10:04:43 PM) lazeriusbalfour: That makes absolutely no sense, as spring usual comes after winter, unless your amazing powers of predictions see a fucking ICE AGE coming next spring. In which case your piercings can be very useful.
(10:05:17 PM) lazeriusbalfour: As a rudimentary coat hanger for the psychopath to hang your skin on.
(10:05:18 PM) Sutaseiu: By the time spring comes around, they should have healed, and if I was wearing a shirt that light, I could take them out and using fishing wire/etc to keep the holes open
(10:05:38 PM) Sutaseiu: and spring is usually still rather cool here
(10:06:28 PM) lazeriusbalfour: And tattoos cost by the square-centimetres.
(10:06:33 PM) lazeriusbalfour: Must be expensive.
(10:07:14 PM) Sutaseiu: I want my full back done
(10:07:20 PM) Sutaseiu: and they charge by the hour here
(10:08:39 PM) Sutaseiu: piercings are far cheaper
(10:08:50 PM) lazeriusbalfour: Of course they are.
(10:09:10 PM) lazeriusbalfour: Still nothing interesting to give me so I can ridicule Towers? No?
(10:09:13 PM) lazeriusbalfour: Fuck off then.
(10:09:21 PM) Sutaseiu: nah, I don’t have problems with him lately
(10:14:05 PM) Sutaseiu: Still I’ll work on that picture thing for you

I’ll be waiting my dear.

Animeleague: The Overview

Saturday, September 12th, 2009

Well, it’s pretty much over and done with for this round. If I kept throwing shit at them, they might just think I cared.

Can’t have now can we.

So as a final, I’ll be giving you a walkthrough of the issues of a community, of the type Animeleague belongs in.

Anime-themed forums, it isn’t really an anime forum in any way or shape, as the vast majority of the forums purpose is social interaction and general discussion.

So it’s just anime-themed, the signatures, avatars and general layout reeks with standard mangaesque drawings and photoshops.

Now, the main issues with these kind of forums, and with animeleague especially, is that there’s no sense of criticism. Even the most awful contributions are elevated as mana from Mount fucking Olympus.

Now, that wouldn’t be a problem, in a dreamworld, made of puppies and sunshine. This lack of criticism and attentionwhoring, creates an atmosphere that’s not realistic in any way or shape.

To a degree, attentionwhores make it a long way in pornography I suppose. It’s just that sooner or later you have to show some actual skills too.

And how you can do this and not expect troubles are beyond me:


Yes, what a good idea.

Now, before you go nuts, this didn’t go as expected, everyone and their dog went “That’s fucking retarded”. Stacey expected some positive feedback, perhaps even a “Pics plx”.

Surprisingly, it didn’t go that way:


And as Matt said:


She probably had pictures of the atrocity taken and ready to post Matt, wouldn’t even surprise me at all. Would disgust me.

Guess the whole issue of “treat women like whores” is living good and well inside her twisted little head.

Oh wait, she’s fat, I totally forgot.


Haven’t got a clue who “Joel” is, but he/she/it should stop by one day, hang around, have a coke. Also, the guy in the second post was probated, apparently he/she/it had done a bunch of other stuff.

Still a pretty good reply, on most forums, he/she/it would have been a hero.


So, this is how things are done behind the scenes, back when I had the misfortune of being a volunteer on the forums, internal censorship would have created a fucking shitstorm.

So Fortune here isn’t even allowed to comment about the administration of a specific forum, how delightful, I guess her opinion is against the opinion of Michael “Freesaiyan” Towers.

Another problematic issue with these kind of forums are fascist leadership with no opportunity for debate, even among staff members internally.


I’ve titled this one “wasted effort”. Because that’s really what is.

In the eyes of the generic members of the forums, the rules exist to keep the bright sparkling creative members down and out of the way.

So they can feel special without any sort of effort or creativity.

I remember during one of my “I’m bored let’s use a proxy and mess around on animeleague” periods a few years a back. I could almost see the terror my originality caused among the members of the forums, it was awesome.

Which brings me to another point, nepotism. Staff members aren’t selected due to skill or anything in that area, it’s all popularity.

Or having a friend on staff, suggesting you in a violent and threatening manner. That’s not really a very good system, seeing as the popular are usually the ones who smack their tits in the face of the peons or the ones who appeal most to the baser instincts.

Or who watches the most Naruto.

As a closing argument, remember.

Don’t take the Internet to serious.


I shall now salute the New World Order for the rest of the next 34 seconds, all the way to the Forums!


Friday, September 11th, 2009

Beware! I Hunger!

Hahaha, It’s time for en Emergency Update of the FORUM WATCH!

Revy has kindly provided me with some indirect feedback.


Oh ho ho. I feel so special.


Hate you? Sweetie, you give me all this awesome stuff, I adore you right about now.

So as we can see, feedback, isn’t that just delightful?

But hey, go ahead and ignore us, Revy, Stacey and me, the Truth is often ignored anyway.

Feel free to talk about this thing on the forums!

EDIT: COMMENTS OFF! It’s all nice to see some feedback, but ultimately, I’m not really that interested in seeing you people have a giant fight in the middle of my blog, feel free to use my forums for that though, that’ll keep my amuse for at least another five minutes.

EDIT2: Comments back on.

More Vandalism and you

Friday, September 11th, 2009

Here we are again. Unfortunately, the good people of has decided to censor the term “Ragnarokz” and replace it with “moron”.

Absolutely delightful, and actually remarkably competent. Probably Matt’s idea.


Internet Lawyers! Drama! Action! A weirdos on the Internet, all that an more on Tonight’s Edition of the FOOOOORUM WATCH!


The Truth is much stronger than a lie, I refer here to this and this.

And Towers, what keeps you from getting a decent job is the fact that you think your fucking forum is in any way or shape important.


It’s not a serious fucking article you dimwitted British idiot. It’s a parady based on the large flaws in your soulless personality. Like when you had sex with this!


Let me quote the imaginary lawyer that could be hypothetically conjured up from this.

“Well Mr. Towers, as the website in question is American and covered under American parody law, there isn’t really anything we can do.”

“Also, I’m afraid that It’ll cost you more than you presently earn to conduct this case under American law, have a good day Mr. Towers.”

“No sexual favours are not legitimate currency, also, I now play for the other team, forever.”

“Now take your fucking shirt back on.”


Tsunade: All people on the Internet and on anime-themed shit forums like yours, deserve all that.

Matt: Who cares?


Space Cowboy is pretty much spot on, guess you have to be a bit more careful with what you do Michael, how unfortunate.


They’d probably laugh in your face if you ask them for anything, also, Mr. Towers isn’t even being that severely attacked.

I’ve seen worse.


You’re right, Free isn’t a Paedophile, he just likes them nice and young.


Ah Rukia, it must be pleasant to be so naive really. Some companies probably wouldn’t Towers, mostly because he’s a freak of epic proportions.


For those of you who want the text of the entire very loooooong and very useless post, it’s right here!


And this idiot decides to give us a full review of the entire thread in a single post, with only the smallest amount of spaces.

Well done, well done indeed.

The rest of the thread is just a bit of circlejerking. Nothing worth anyones time.

Once again thanks to Stacey and Revy, who are now trying desperately to backtrack, but hey, that means they might just give me a whole mess of dirt another time.

I look forward to cooperating with you both another time.

Last one’s tomorrow, just a general walkthrough of the problems, flaws and mediocracy of anime-themed forums like animeleague.

Vandalism and you.

Thursday, September 10th, 2009

You can probably guess what this one’s all about, can’t you?

Wrong, it’s about ANIMELEAGUE.NET, not about filthy cybersex you freak.



Reichspräsident Michael Towers just asked his forum staff to commit gross acts of vandalism on another site, isn’t that lovely?



It still amazes me to a considerable degree that a man with the charisma of a burnt potato can create such loyalty and anger in his volunteer moderation staff.

Yet another case of “Power attracts” and seeing as Tower’s only power is being the owner of a silly generic forum, all the people he attracts are stupid, bland and probably fat.


Really isn’t much of interest from the actual content of the post, but look at that signature, Pokemon? Ha!


Dear Copernicus, have you seen that? It’s all just bullshit.


18.000 members. Yes, of course.

700 of them active eh? Pretty sure Encyclopedia Dramatica can manage that one, especially seeing as this was in his private staff section. So, what 30 people? Bound to be a couple who realize how silly the whole thing is.


Nope, they just moved it.


So, Towers talking about hacking a wikipedia web software.

Pies trying in vain.


Free digging his grave deeper, Space Cowboy stating the obvious.


Towers really hasn’t got a clue how the Internet, or life, works. Raising to the bait, just makes it better for us Michael.

So please keep trying, don’t stop the horrible fight.


Sweetheart, Mike would need something in the range of rape and murder before he could claim higher moral ground that his “opponents”.

Also, blackmail, nice how he really brings out the WORST of his followers.


Natürlich, mein Führer, Reichsführer-SS Zelgadis ist immer mit Ihnen! SIEG HEIL!


And I end it on a CLIFFHANGER! That’ll fucking teach you little scumbags. It’s time for Internet Legal Action! The Greatest Threat since the Danish Army around 1940!

See you next time, thanks to Stacey and Revy!

Paranoia on the Anime Forums Part Two!

Wednesday, September 9th, 2009

Paranoia on the Anime Forums Part Two! Operation: Overlord!

Welcome back to the Paranoia train!


To clarify, this has nothing to do with me. I have nothing to do with any of the elements involved in this entire silly little e-conflict.

I’m just bored and likes to fling shit at people for no apparent reason.

Also, I really don’t like Michael “Dragonballz” Towers.



You know what’s horribly wrong right know? The word “betray” from Padfoot.

I wasn’t aware that your silly little generic teenager forum was a fucking cult my dear Padfoot.

Betray? By the Prophet that’s the most retarded thing I’ve seen all damn day. It’s a fucking forum you dimwitted idiot, not a fucking religious movement, not a fucking liege lord.

You’re not a fucking vassal of some stereotypically incompetent monarch.

Even if he wants to be one.


Zelgadis, there we have you again. Do you ever stop being useless? Probably not. I sincerely wish nothing but nightmares upon you, until that far off day where you STOP POSTING USELESS ARSE COVERING BULLSHIT!


Watch out for Reichsführer-SS Padfoot, he’s hunting the traitors that dare to oppose his eternal Lord and Master!

Give him a bigger fucking blowjob will you?


Yeah, not really the most fascinating part, neither is this:


And to run this rather lacklustre feature into the ground, more arse covering bullshit.


So what conclusions can we draw from all this?

Zelgadis is a pathetic worm.

Thank you and goodbye.

Michael “Freesaiyan” Towers

Thursday, July 30th, 2009

Now, Michael “Freesaiyan” Towers is the guy who owns and operates the Animeleague forums: This is how he describes himself:

Strengths: Intelligence, Charisma, Loyalty, Courage, Kindness, Selflessness, Insightful, Humour, Organisational/Management Skills and Wit (allegedly), open-minded, extreme resilience (ie: I don’t give up), determined, common-sense and logical.
Weaknesses: Apathy, Sadness, Under-Confidence, Social Odd-ball, Fear, Very Poor Relationship Skills with the opposite sex, too-soft.

I’d personally describe him as a selfish little twit of a man, weak, stupid and with an amazing ability to somehow twists people’s tasteless facination for Japanese cartoons into his own personal goon squad.

Now he has a lovely little feud with pretty much everyone else, related to silly Japanese Culture Convention, in the whole of Britain, because his convention is a giant mess: It steals from others, pester, annoy and is really fucking small.

But that’s not what you’re here for, you can read more about Towers here!

You’re here for secrets from the lovely STAFF forum of ANIMELEAGUE.NET, which I have aquired through my “Sources“.

We started out with the most important thread I could fine “This could be a problem for us now”, where Freesaiyan is whining about Encylopedia Dramatica being awesome and great.


You can see all the links here!





Some bullshit about how he wants more CYBERPOWER into his grubby little British hands:


I didn’t actuall read all this, it’s something about flying cars and dreams.


Now it get’s a little fancy again, Free, in his unwarrented paranoia, thinks some other con is out to GET HIM! Yes, because billions of people do nothing but try to get GLORIOUS VENGANCE on some nerdy English idiot.

He even calls it Astro-turfing, trying to present his opponents as a fake grassroots organization, despite the fact that this is the Internet.

We’re all grassroot, all of us.

Baically Towers thinks he is the first person to run a moderately successful UK based anime board and takes personal offence; when someone dares to claim that they were doing it before him.


He actally “requires” shit of his members, like it’s a fucking priviledge being a member of his stupid Japanese cartoon forum, hey! News-fucking-flash! There’s about a trillion fucking forums just like yours.

Just without the English racism, you nationalist prick.


I figured some of you nerds would want to look around the forums Freesaiyan babbles on about. (Gone with the Winds) (Gone, probably deleted, why have the conventionequivalent of STDs in your community?) This one is fucking awesome (Reqires a login, probably furries.) (Gone, the Conspiracy grows larger) (And the party goes on!)




Oh noes! How horrible! They wont show up at a Convention who doesn’t want them! Twenty people might not show up! The horror! Truely MCM are now doomed to forever walk the desolated streets of Manchster.

Well, I’m sure someone out there can use all this for greater purpose than mine.

Then again, my purpose is entertainment.

And there isn’t a greater one.

Once again, thank you SOURCES!

Anencephaly Part Three

Tuesday, April 28th, 2009

It just doesn’t stop does it?

Remember that thread?

We’ve got more dirt, not on the crazy fundie mother, but on the FATHER! Who cheated on his wife with this crazy broad.


And look what stonedpanda found: “Dan Lirette posted:

To top it off, I’m also in Ministry, preaching the Gospel Open Air (though under my own Power and not the Power of God!), in the media, known by many and even had a position on the Evangelism Committee in my local assembly.

I became involved in an adulterous affair with a summer student staff member at our church and she became pregnant.

Was what I to do?

I had two options:

1- Run away to another city
2- Hope for the best without turning to God

The Lord had option #3 waiting, which I had no clue would happen… you have to remember, I was one who was 99% sure I had blasphemed the Holy Spirit!”

Yup. Giant scumbad motherfucker, just dumping his responsibility on his precious little god. Well done mate, well done indeed.

And there’s more, samizdat found even more dirt on him:
” shoeshoe at 2007-09-23 00:57 CET:
Dan Lirette, in reality, is a closet homosexual who deals with his desire for penis by yelling at other homosexuals who are just minding their own business.

That guy is seriously tortured … gay, but so afraid of gay men that he became a bible-thumping fanatic solely because he couldn’t deal with his personal issues.

I’m betting he’ll commit suicide pretty soon.

aweirdly at 2007-09-23 01:53 CET:
It’s been awhile. He got laughed out of here the last time he posted this archaic info. He’s so desperate that he can’t even give this shit away.

Piss poor way to start your televangilist career.

Who wants to place bets that he’ll land up in prison like Kent Hovind?

shoeshoe at 2007-09-24 22:17 CET:
ha ha Dan Lirette got arrested a few days ago in Chicago for propsitioning an undercover police officer in a restroom!”

Apparently the fucker is all over the place!

Who knows what’ll happen next, perhaps he’d actually take some responsibility, rather than just blaming the GREAT GLOWHAND THE DESTROYER, ONLY TRUE GOD!

Probably not.

EDIT: Trying to escape the net are we? Bad David, that’s no good, no good at all!

Horrible try.