Archive for the ‘Imperial Edicts’ Category

Imperial Legislative Decree #001

Monday, September 15th, 2008

My subjects.

The furry threat is growing on a daily basis, now the hordes of chaotic furries threaten all that is good and civilized on our fair Internet, their deviant ways corrupting thousands of pure and honest humans on a daily basis.

That is not acceptable. So now we must take real action.

By my will, I hereby declare a state of Exterminatus upon the entire furry fandom and all aligned factions.

Exterminatus is henceforth defined as total seclusion of the declared targets. Any faction, personality or fandom under Exterminatus should be ignored, secluded and banned from any loyal Imperial site.
Any deviants located should be terminated with uttermost certaincy and with no doubt in your faith, this filthy deserves nothing but scorn.

Thus the furry problem would cease to exist, as the furries are isolated into their own little ghettos, where their pathetic way of life won’t affect the Imperium.

Any attempt from them, to provide release or spread of their mutated ideals must be dealt with swiftly and decisively.

Give them nothing, for they will take everything if you do.

By my will on this the 15 day of 008 M2.
RagnarokZ the Magnificent.
Emperor of the Internet.

Long live the Imperium of The Internet.

Hahaha

Saturday, January 19th, 2008

A Dark Angel, a Blood Angel and a Space Wolf walk into a bar, and order a tankard each of that kind of booze that kills anyone but a Space Marine. However, a small bird lands in each of the Space Marines’ drinks.

The Dark Angel knocks his drink over and walks out mumbling about how the Emperor is punishing him for something or other.

The Blood Angel goes nuts and wrecks half the bar, totally blowing his chances of scoring with the Sisters of Battle down the end or the bar (except maybe the one with the heavy flamer).

The Space Wolf grabs the bird out of the drink and holds it over the tankard, screaming “SPIT IT OUT YA HERETIC BASTARD!”.

Protocol of ostracization of excessive sexual fetishism.

Wednesday, December 5th, 2007

The Office of the Emperor issues with Imperial approval this Protocol towards the greater purification of the Internet, from the terrors of excessive sexual fetishism.

By the Will of the Emperor Enlightened, this Protocol establishes a total and unrestricted ban towards any excessively displayed sexual fetishism.

Such behaviour is a prime cause of internal strife and ongoing civil war, and must thus be both suppressed and eliminated by any means necessary.

As a general rule, sexual fetishism is acceptable and fully within the rights of any citizen to partake in, however, when such fetishisms are taken to far, and sometimes outright abused for mere attention whoring, action must be taken.

Let it be know that the Emperor does not approve of such actions, and cannot accept or acknowledge any excessive sexual fetishisms.

Either destroy them, or isolate them.

Thus the Emperor Commands, obey and follow.

Office of the Emperor, 5th of December 2007.

Official Rescindment of Imperial Decree of the 9th of July 2006

Monday, December 3rd, 2007

Effective immediately, the following proclamation is declared null and void:

Imperial Proclamation of Exterminatus.

My subjects.

The furry threat is growing on a daily basis, now the hordes of chaotic furries threaten all that is good and civilized on our fair Internet.

That is not acceptable. So now we must take real action.

By my will, I hereby declare a state of Exterminatus upon the entire furry fandom and all aligned factions.

Exterminatus is henceforth defined as total seclusion of the declared targets. Any faction, personality or fandom under Exterminatus should be ignored, secluded and banned from any loyal Imperial site.

Thus the furry problem would cease to exist, as the furries are isolated into their own little ghettos, where their pathetic way of life won’t affect the Empire.

By my will on this: the ninth day of the seventh month of the glorious year Two of the Imperial era. (Two-thousand-and-Six Common Age).

RagnarokZ the Magnificent.

Imperial Decree of the Eight of August of the Year Three.

Wednesday, August 8th, 2007

Imperial Conveyance of titles of Higher Nobility:

As per my will and my right to rule, I, RagnarokZ, hereby and henceforth convey the following titles upon a selected list of deserving individuals.
As per this day, Stacey “Sutaseiu” Matthews is granted the inheritable title “Duchess of the British Columbia Providers”, for her unquestionable service to the Empire and her general crusade against incompetence.

We furthermore grant her the title “Mistress of Ceremonies”, a lifetime ceremonial appointment.

Imperial Conveyance of titles of Lesser Nobility:

As per this day, Nodsri of the Spamatorium is granted the inheritable title “Count off the Malaysian Backbone”, for his general service towards the Imperial Greater Good.

We furthermore grant him the title “Master of the Royal Hunt”, a lifetime ceremonial appointment.

By my will.

RagnarokZ the First.
Emperor of the Internet
Augustus, Imperator, Principles.
Autocrat of the Realm.

FORUM THREAD!

Imperial Decree of the seventieth of July of the Year Three.

Tuesday, July 17th, 2007

Imperial Conveyance of titles of Higher Nobility:

As per my will and my right to rule, I, RagnarokZ, hereby and henceforth convey the following titles upon a selected list of deserving individuals.

As per this day, Joey “Faerie Fortune” Hufton is granted the inheritable title “Arch-Duchess of the Cumbrian Servers, for her unquestionable service to the Empire and her long and stubborn fight against the ignorance and idiocy the Internet has long been plagued with.

We furthermore grant her the title “Mistress of the Imperial Keys”, a lifetime ceremonial appointment.

As per this day, Allen “Citizen” Touchette is granted the inheritable title “Marquis of the Wisconsin Backbone”, for his steadfast loyalty to the Emperor and his continued fight against general idiocy.

We furthermore grant him the title “Lord of the Ports”, a lifetime ceremonial appointment.

Imperial Conveyance of titles of Lesser Nobility:

As per this day, William “Pies” Comrie is granted the inheritable title Count of the Scottish Lowland Servers, for his general service towards the Imperial Greater Good.

We also grant him a full commission as a Colonel of the Imperial Legions.

As per this day, Matt “Koizumi Itsuki” Nada is granted the inheritable title Earl of the Pennsylvania Servers, for his trustworthy sense of justice and general service to the Imperial Greater Good.

We furthermore grant him the title “Keeper of the Seal”, a lifetime ceremonial appointment.

By my will.

RagnarokZ the First.
Emperor of the Internet
Augustus, Imperator, Principles.
Autocrat of the Realm.

Imperial Proclamation of Exterminatus.

Tuesday, July 10th, 2007

My subjects.

The furry threat is growing on a daily basis, now the hordes of chaotic furries threaten all that is good and civilized on our fair Internet.

That is not acceptable. So now we must take real action.

By my will, I hereby declare a state of Exterminatus upon the entire furry fandom and all aligned factions.

Exterminatus is henceforth defined as total seclusion of the declared targets. Any faction, personality or fandom under Exterminatus should be ignored, secluded and banned from any loyal Imperial site.

Thus the furry problem would cease to exist, as the furries are isolated into their own little ghettos, where their pathetic way of life won’t affect the Empire.

By my will on this: the ninth day of the seventh month of the glorious year Two of the Imperial era. (Two-thousand-and-Six Common Age).

RagnarokZ the Magnificent.

Originally posted here.

Warhammer 40K Quotes.

Wednesday, March 7th, 2007

Go check out the severely updated Version of this shit here mates.