Archive for the ‘Awesome posts!’ Category

I fucking hate football with the passion of ten thousand burning suns.

Sunday, October 11th, 2009

I really fucking hate football, I hate the fans, the silly rules, the enormous amounts of money inbred morons are paid and the marketing bullshit the increasingly desperate big fucking clubs make.

I particularly dislike the fact that football is the basis for how you’re treated in most schools, you suck at football? Welcome to the fat, smelly nerds! Come, join the permanent virginity party!

It wont end until you fuck some furry landwhale of a woman/man, who either has a vagina that lies at the bottomless pit of fat or a penis obscured by lard and diabetes.

Yup, you haven’t got a chance unless you’re really good at football, and by football, I mean sports, I wasn’t good at football, not because I was fat, I’ve fortunately always been able to never go beyond two points to much on the BMI.

I just sucked at Sports and Atheletics, and “SLAM”, I’m delegated to the lower areas of school hierarchy, as I couldn’t kick a fucking ball, I could argue my way through politics and knew a shit-load about pretty much everything.

But I couldn’t kick a fucking ball.

Also, I suffered from Asthma, which we actually fist discovered years after I finally managed to get away from school mandated sports, might have helped me if it had been discovered earlier, but everyone just assumed i was lazy and/or incompetent.

Lovely isn’t it?

A clear symptom of a society where the critically important aspect and worth of a proper education has been replaced with being able to run fast and talk shit about women in fast and noisy way.

This isn’t the fucking feudal age any more, a single chemist is worth seven billion football players, even if it takes more time to become a chemist or a physicist or anything even vaguely intellectual.

It’s amazing isn’t it? And yet, I don’t see anyone wearing Niels Bohr T-shirts running around.

Which really is a shame, he’s a lot cooler than any rap artist around,Danish physicist, invented nuclear bomb with a guy from Germany and a bunch of yanks, isn’t that awesome? In a horrible oh god people died way.

But no, instead we remember some random Argentinian, who is now fat.

Who did what? Ran around on a grassy field several times, fucked many women and annoyed the shit out of me, by persistingly breathing the same air as me. So yes, I really fucking hate football.

I like Ice hockey though, because the chance of the participants dying are higher. Fucking bastards the lot of you.

So fuck of, you stupid football fans, buy a Niels Bohr T-shirt and an Albert Einsten hat rather than fucking Arsenal.

The Chronicle of Deimos of Titan!

Saturday, September 26th, 2009


By the Emperor’s Grace! What foulness is this? This is neither Titan, nor is it Holy Terra! Another trickery of the Arch-fiends?


What is this? Mutants? Filthy mutants? Unworthy of the Emperor’s Blessed Light! Unworthy of Life! Purge them from this mangled world, in the name of the Emperor!


The Emperor grant you his Blessings in the purifying flames poor creature! Be at Peace with your Dark Gods, for I am Deimos of Titan, and I know now of Mercy!


This world must have suffered a truly devastating war some centuries ago, and though the Emperor’s Blessing is with the skies above, the world itself has yet to recover.


And yet life goes on, the few uncorrupted men I have encountered so far, tells me strange stories of a Great War some centuries ago, and they seem to have personified the God-Emperor into avatars of some sort, some worship “The Atom”, as a sort of creator force and I have encountered a Chapel to St. Katherine, oddly enough, they seem to have no understanding of the Golden Throne, and yet, they are not heretics worshiping the Dark Gods. Perhaps the Ecclesiarchy will send missionaries when I reestablish contact with the Imperium.


So there are Heretics on this world! Ha! I shall rejoice in their purge!


By Fire be Purged!


What is this? What Technosorcery is this? The Tau? The Eldar? Filthy Xenos Scum!


RAAARRGHH! Filthy Xenos! How dare you lie hand upon a Grey Knight, long shall be your suffering, sweet will be your deaths!


By Fire be Purged!


I have linked up with a few other brave civilians, who had been placed into some sort of cryostatis on-board this Xenos, a young girl seems to know much about this ship and it’s foul occupants, her bravery is worthy of one of the Emperor’s finest, with their assistance, this ship shall be purged, and perhaps I can commandeer the vessels communication system or perhaps event he navigation systems, for return to the Imperium I shall!

Patriotism sucks

Friday, September 18th, 2009

“Heroism on command, senseless violence, and all the loathsome nonsense that goes by the name of patriotism — how passionately I hate them!”Albert Einstein

Patriotism is a load of utter bullshit, originally concocted by Napoleon Bonaparte, when he realized that sooner or later his conscripts would probably kill him, rather than the Germans.

So he whipped up a lovely inferiority case and started calling the Germans a bunch of Saurkraut eating sausage manufacturers.

It’s all a bunch of useless crap, and any person with half a brain will drop the concept into the same deep chasm of your psyche where slavery belongs.

And then proceed to base the rest of your life on rational and logical thoughts, rather than “They have a funny accent, let’s bomb them back to the stone age.”

Or “they worship our god in a slightly more flashy manner, let’s go crazy with snipers.”

Or the other billion stupid excuses there exist, simply to move blame away from your own country’s cloying incompetence and gross neglience.

And onto a convenient scapegoat in another country, like for instance Canada, who’s otherwise reasonably functional public healthcare system was deemed the great Satan of Committee executions by the Republican Party of the United States of America.

Who claim that the Public Healthcare System kills people who’s expensive to cure, which is utterly retarded, a lie and so wilfully stupid.

But what the hell else do you expect from a political system that seems to permit and encourage corruption, open corruption even.

So hey?

Patriotism sucks, it absolutely and unrestrictedly sucks. And there’s no hope in hell for any human being, who remain a Patriot.

Free Speech and Me!

Thursday, September 17th, 2009

A few days ago, I started releasing information from the privileged restricted staff section of the animeleague forums, a completely legal thing to do, as I’ve never agreed not to do so.

Also, It wasn’t me who grabbed the screenshots. So purely legally speaking I’m absolutely completely in the clear. So let’s not waste any more time on that useless area, let’s focus on the ethical and moral discussion you could throw at me.

And make no mistake, I am a deeply ethical person, more ethical than most the staff of Animeleague, where sexual favours, or both the physical and virtual kind, are both commonplace and “the standard”.

At least that’s what Stacey told me about Keith, but hey. For all I know, she could be lieing, would explain a lot though.

So, are Whistleblowers a good thing? Or a horrible thing?

Well, to the fascist mind-controlling big-brotheresque reactionary scumbags they are, to the rest of the bloody world they are silent heroes working for the Free Flow of Information.

And no information relevant to a public forum are ever sacred! They belong to the public, and they will be spread in the end. So fuck all the haters! Nothing I’ve released here for the last few days have been morally or ethically wrong, the opposite in fact, how can vandalism and talking about how to HACK and abuse another web-page ever be sacred knowledge?

Unless you where involved of course.

So no, I do believe with absolute conviction that I have the moral high ground in this matter, and that Towers and his silly forum has the moral and ethical sense of a burnt potato.

So yay me.

I’m still better than any of you freaks.

Remember the forums and Twitter!

Warhammer Age of Reckoning is boring.

Wednesday, September 16th, 2009


Warhammer Age of Reckoning, also know as WAR, is a really boring momorperger created by the otherwise well meaning gentlemen of Mythic Entertainment.

It was designed to be a casual PvP mmo, capturing the niche right next to World of Warcraft, who firmly controls the casual PvE niche.

altheaf_000Controls just like World of Warcraft, which is a REALLY good thing. Fucking Tabula Rasa.

The problem is, that all the PvP in WAR is utterly meaningless, all of it. You sure, you can enter into scenarios, where you kill other players. To grind up reputation.

To buy armour and weapons and similar junk, so it’s basically just a normal grind, with slightly smarter mobs to murder, well done.

Oh sure, it builds up some stupid counter that’ll give you some discounts among merchants in the respective zones PvP scenarios.

But that’s pretty much it, the scenarios are really just there to grind your levels up, and get the reputation you need to buy more crap. It has no real meaning beyond that.

Just a theme-park really, no matter how many times you ride it, the only thing that can happen is the occasional catastrophic breakdown.

There’s also a bunch of Castles you can capture for your side, which in itself isn’t anything spectacular, except being fairly entertaining. But you can also capture them for your Guild, which makes them a billion times more interesting.

Problem is, it costs money to keep the Castles/Keeps/Who the fuck cares? under control, and the only real benefit is prestigious banners on the keep, which few will ever notice and boost to the Guilds own internal experience counter.

And sure, there’s the opertunity to grind your way up to a Siege of the opposing sides Capital, where you can, Guess what?

Wrong, you can throw it all the way back on the capitals internal Experience, so the other side has to GRIND the City back to up to level whatever.

So essentially a waste of time.

So can WAR be saved? Sure it can, if Mythic would stop realising more and more retarded PvE “free expansions”, what the hell is the point of an expansion if all it is, is a BIGGER and BETTER fucking grindfest.

What does WAR need? The fucking BORDER PRINCES that is!

BorderPrincesMapYeah! That’s what they need.

The Border Princes are basically just a whole bunch of forts, small cities and small dwarf holds scattered just across the southern border of the Empire.

Several zones full of capturable cities, forts, holds, encampments of different sizes, locations, some obvious, other hidden.

It’d be great wouldn’t it, capturing a small city, getting taxes and cheap equipment from the local merchants in return, some PvE activities like protecting caravans.

On in the case of an old Dwarf hold, going down into the depths and murdering goblins and crap, yeah, Tunnel fighting in the dark corners underneath the old World.

Hell, it’s the Border Princes, guilds that have anything permanent in the areas, should be able to declare war against their neighbours, even if they are nominally on the same side. If they aren’t, a declaration isn’t available, for you are already at WAR!

And PvP on all the time, everywhere, even inside the cities you control yourself. Should be a few minor timers, just to keep the cities safe from being destroyed every single night.

That would just be frustrating. But think about it, your guild goes and captures a small city on the top of a hill, and there you are, a Proud Guild of Order extending the authority of Order into the uncontrolled anarchy of the Border Princes, and you’re getting PAID for your success.

And the longer and better you hold your little city, the more people will show up, more caravans, more opportunities.

And a much greater loss when the Destruction fellows show up and ruin everything, unless you manage to defend yourself.

Or perhaps you’re holding some old Dwarf Hold against attacks from another old Hold, smashing into each other in dark Tunnels under the ground.

See? That’ll make a fucking great expansion, hell, I’d pay for this, PvP with more meaning that just fucking grind, grind, grind.

Remember the forums and the Twitter.

When in doubt, Trust your sources.

Saturday, September 12th, 2009

(9:50:28 PM) Sutaseiu: ps thanks for the entertainment, I was getting bored
(9:57:45 PM) lazeriusbalfour: You still pestering me?
(9:57:53 PM) Sutaseiu: hardly pestering
(9:57:57 PM) lazeriusbalfour: Unless you’ve got some more interesting shots, bugger off.
(9:58:10 PM) Sutaseiu: aaaww can’t we talk nicely like we used to? (Haven’t talked with her for ages.)
(9:59:03 PM) lazeriusbalfour: We used to? We haven’t talked for ages you dimwit, you just popped up a few days ago with a shitload of images.
(9:59:12 PM) lazeriusbalfour: Now sod off.
(9:59:26 PM) Sutaseiu: so cranky
(9:59:53 PM) lazeriusbalfour: So pierced nipples.
(10:00:02 PM) Sutaseiu: yep
(10:01:43 PM) lazeriusbalfour: Having some problems with your self-image, thus you attempt to reinforce it with a sexualization of your mammary glands?
(10:01:56 PM) Sutaseiu: Hmm
(10:02:08 PM) Sutaseiu: No, I just felt like mutilating a part of myself, and tattoos are too expensive
(10:02:33 PM) Sutaseiu: still want to easily find a decent job, so almost anything visible is out of the question
(10:03:21 PM) lazeriusbalfour: You do realize, that pierced nipples are easily visible through most light cloathing?
(10:03:41 PM) Sutaseiu: that’s why getting it done as fall and winter are coming was a smart idea
(10:04:43 PM) lazeriusbalfour: That makes absolutely no sense, as spring usual comes after winter, unless your amazing powers of predictions see a fucking ICE AGE coming next spring. In which case your piercings can be very useful.
(10:05:17 PM) lazeriusbalfour: As a rudimentary coat hanger for the psychopath to hang your skin on.
(10:05:18 PM) Sutaseiu: By the time spring comes around, they should have healed, and if I was wearing a shirt that light, I could take them out and using fishing wire/etc to keep the holes open
(10:05:38 PM) Sutaseiu: and spring is usually still rather cool here
(10:06:28 PM) lazeriusbalfour: And tattoos cost by the square-centimetres.
(10:06:33 PM) lazeriusbalfour: Must be expensive.
(10:07:14 PM) Sutaseiu: I want my full back done
(10:07:20 PM) Sutaseiu: and they charge by the hour here
(10:08:39 PM) Sutaseiu: piercings are far cheaper
(10:08:50 PM) lazeriusbalfour: Of course they are.
(10:09:10 PM) lazeriusbalfour: Still nothing interesting to give me so I can ridicule Towers? No?
(10:09:13 PM) lazeriusbalfour: Fuck off then.
(10:09:21 PM) Sutaseiu: nah, I don’t have problems with him lately
(10:14:05 PM) Sutaseiu: Still I’ll work on that picture thing for you

I’ll be waiting my dear.

Animeleague: The Overview

Saturday, September 12th, 2009

Well, it’s pretty much over and done with for this round. If I kept throwing shit at them, they might just think I cared.

Can’t have now can we.

So as a final, I’ll be giving you a walkthrough of the issues of a community, of the type Animeleague belongs in.

Anime-themed forums, it isn’t really an anime forum in any way or shape, as the vast majority of the forums purpose is social interaction and general discussion.

So it’s just anime-themed, the signatures, avatars and general layout reeks with standard mangaesque drawings and photoshops.

Now, the main issues with these kind of forums, and with animeleague especially, is that there’s no sense of criticism. Even the most awful contributions are elevated as mana from Mount fucking Olympus.

Now, that wouldn’t be a problem, in a dreamworld, made of puppies and sunshine. This lack of criticism and attentionwhoring, creates an atmosphere that’s not realistic in any way or shape.

To a degree, attentionwhores make it a long way in pornography I suppose. It’s just that sooner or later you have to show some actual skills too.

And how you can do this and not expect troubles are beyond me:


Yes, what a good idea.

Now, before you go nuts, this didn’t go as expected, everyone and their dog went “That’s fucking retarded”. Stacey expected some positive feedback, perhaps even a “Pics plx”.

Surprisingly, it didn’t go that way:


And as Matt said:


She probably had pictures of the atrocity taken and ready to post Matt, wouldn’t even surprise me at all. Would disgust me.

Guess the whole issue of “treat women like whores” is living good and well inside her twisted little head.

Oh wait, she’s fat, I totally forgot.


Haven’t got a clue who “Joel” is, but he/she/it should stop by one day, hang around, have a coke. Also, the guy in the second post was probated, apparently he/she/it had done a bunch of other stuff.

Still a pretty good reply, on most forums, he/she/it would have been a hero.


So, this is how things are done behind the scenes, back when I had the misfortune of being a volunteer on the forums, internal censorship would have created a fucking shitstorm.

So Fortune here isn’t even allowed to comment about the administration of a specific forum, how delightful, I guess her opinion is against the opinion of Michael “Freesaiyan” Towers.

Another problematic issue with these kind of forums are fascist leadership with no opportunity for debate, even among staff members internally.


I’ve titled this one “wasted effort”. Because that’s really what is.

In the eyes of the generic members of the forums, the rules exist to keep the bright sparkling creative members down and out of the way.

So they can feel special without any sort of effort or creativity.

I remember during one of my “I’m bored let’s use a proxy and mess around on animeleague” periods a few years a back. I could almost see the terror my originality caused among the members of the forums, it was awesome.

Which brings me to another point, nepotism. Staff members aren’t selected due to skill or anything in that area, it’s all popularity.

Or having a friend on staff, suggesting you in a violent and threatening manner. That’s not really a very good system, seeing as the popular are usually the ones who smack their tits in the face of the peons or the ones who appeal most to the baser instincts.

Or who watches the most Naruto.

As a closing argument, remember.

Don’t take the Internet to serious.


I shall now salute the New World Order for the rest of the next 34 seconds, all the way to the Forums!

More Vandalism and you

Friday, September 11th, 2009

Here we are again. Unfortunately, the good people of has decided to censor the term “Ragnarokz” and replace it with “moron”.

Absolutely delightful, and actually remarkably competent. Probably Matt’s idea.


Internet Lawyers! Drama! Action! A weirdos on the Internet, all that an more on Tonight’s Edition of the FOOOOORUM WATCH!


The Truth is much stronger than a lie, I refer here to this and this.

And Towers, what keeps you from getting a decent job is the fact that you think your fucking forum is in any way or shape important.


It’s not a serious fucking article you dimwitted British idiot. It’s a parady based on the large flaws in your soulless personality. Like when you had sex with this!


Let me quote the imaginary lawyer that could be hypothetically conjured up from this.

“Well Mr. Towers, as the website in question is American and covered under American parody law, there isn’t really anything we can do.”

“Also, I’m afraid that It’ll cost you more than you presently earn to conduct this case under American law, have a good day Mr. Towers.”

“No sexual favours are not legitimate currency, also, I now play for the other team, forever.”

“Now take your fucking shirt back on.”


Tsunade: All people on the Internet and on anime-themed shit forums like yours, deserve all that.

Matt: Who cares?


Space Cowboy is pretty much spot on, guess you have to be a bit more careful with what you do Michael, how unfortunate.


They’d probably laugh in your face if you ask them for anything, also, Mr. Towers isn’t even being that severely attacked.

I’ve seen worse.


You’re right, Free isn’t a Paedophile, he just likes them nice and young.


Ah Rukia, it must be pleasant to be so naive really. Some companies probably wouldn’t Towers, mostly because he’s a freak of epic proportions.


For those of you who want the text of the entire very loooooong and very useless post, it’s right here!


And this idiot decides to give us a full review of the entire thread in a single post, with only the smallest amount of spaces.

Well done, well done indeed.

The rest of the thread is just a bit of circlejerking. Nothing worth anyones time.

Once again thanks to Stacey and Revy, who are now trying desperately to backtrack, but hey, that means they might just give me a whole mess of dirt another time.

I look forward to cooperating with you both another time.

Last one’s tomorrow, just a general walkthrough of the problems, flaws and mediocracy of anime-themed forums like animeleague.

Paranoia on the Anime Forums Part Two!

Wednesday, September 9th, 2009

Paranoia on the Anime Forums Part Two! Operation: Overlord!

Welcome back to the Paranoia train!


To clarify, this has nothing to do with me. I have nothing to do with any of the elements involved in this entire silly little e-conflict.

I’m just bored and likes to fling shit at people for no apparent reason.

Also, I really don’t like Michael “Dragonballz” Towers.



You know what’s horribly wrong right know? The word “betray” from Padfoot.

I wasn’t aware that your silly little generic teenager forum was a fucking cult my dear Padfoot.

Betray? By the Prophet that’s the most retarded thing I’ve seen all damn day. It’s a fucking forum you dimwitted idiot, not a fucking religious movement, not a fucking liege lord.

You’re not a fucking vassal of some stereotypically incompetent monarch.

Even if he wants to be one.


Zelgadis, there we have you again. Do you ever stop being useless? Probably not. I sincerely wish nothing but nightmares upon you, until that far off day where you STOP POSTING USELESS ARSE COVERING BULLSHIT!


Watch out for Reichsführer-SS Padfoot, he’s hunting the traitors that dare to oppose his eternal Lord and Master!

Give him a bigger fucking blowjob will you?


Yeah, not really the most fascinating part, neither is this:


And to run this rather lacklustre feature into the ground, more arse covering bullshit.


So what conclusions can we draw from all this?

Zelgadis is a pathetic worm.

Thank you and goodbye.

Public Healthcar? Socialism? Fuck yeah!

Monday, August 31st, 2009
The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c
Back in Black – Health Care Reform
Daily Show
Full Episodes
Political Humor Joke of the Day