Today's FIRST torrent of overwhelming hatred is directed against Carly Patterson, who are apparently some random athlete who won Olympic Gold, which, of course, means she is doped over her fucking ears with enough chemicals to fuel the entire country of Moldavia.
And her music is just plain awful, bland, boring and sounds pretty much like EVERY other stupid pop girl on the surface of this miserable little planet.
Now, normally I'd review all her awful songs separately, but she only deigns to show us pitiful mortals, who do not sip upon the sweet Olympian nectar of celebrity, samples of her awful crap.
But Youtube saves the day, and presents me with a full length of one of her songs, Here I Am, I wont embedded the damn thing, as it is a giant copyright infringement, and will probably be removed whenever the fucking Tought Police sees it.
Or the freaks who take a twisted sort of pleasure in reporting shit to the "authorities".
It just so horrible bland, "Here I Am"? More like "Here I'm bland", it sound like every single other generic crap song produced in the last ten years of corporate mediocracy. Why does this exist? Why does she still exist in the public sphere? WHY?
ANSWER ME YOU FUCKING TASTELESS BASTARDS! WHY DOES SHIT LIKE THIS EXIST? I can sort of understand rap, in the same way I can sort of understand why wearing giant earrings might be attractive in the right culture.
But this has no purpose, she sings awful, hell, it probably isn't here actual voice, I'd bet a billion imaginary dollars it's been though more computers than this entire update ever will be.
She doesn't even have good tits.
Now, as a bonus, because that was pretty fucking short, let's have some other random crap band/singer/sentient virus, that send me some invitation to an event that happened, oh roughly, 20.000 kilometers away from my FUCKING HOME AND COUNTRY! And that the damn fuckers just spam out to whoever and whatever they can.
The next target is Dayna Jade, who sings in pretty horrible metal rock.
Which is fitting, as she sings pretty horrible.
"Lookin 4 Romance w Black Pearle" as they call it, "Looking for Romance with Black Pearl" as any civilized member of human society would once have called it, before to total disintegration of our now useless Society.
Horrible music, horrible singer, horrible lyrics, it just so averagely horrible that you really only can hate it, rather than loath it. Well done I suppose.
And I'm pretty sure they don't have a bass, wait, yes they do, had to turn up the bass on the subwoofer, they do have a bass, oh wait, that's just the drums.
Guess they couldn't find anyone sufficiently desperate.
"Can U Feel" was recorded live.
In a barn.
In the countryside of Moldavia.
"Time" was also recorded live.
In what sounds like a country with the technical recording equipment, equivalent to Chernobyl. Seriously, why the hell did you upload this shit? Also, that's one hell of a poor guitar riff.
To hell with them, they aren't going to amount to anything before they go Goth and Symphonic rock anyway.
Still no proper tits.
