I’m a Nickelback fan?

Dearest “Jay” send me this utterly preposterous message:

Hey there fellow Nickelback fan. Just wanted to take a moment and introduce you to Carly Smithson. If you haven’t heard of her, you most likely will. She’s a rock singer. Check out her page and add her to your friends to keep up with the latest news. And while you’re at it check out her new band We Are The Fallen. Thanks and have a great day.


I have no fucking clue why this idiot thinks I’m a Nickelback fan. Wait, yes I do. He simply sent out billions of stupid messages about some random band and hoped that Nickelback fans would be around.

To bad he sent one of his spam crap to an angry Danish bloke who just happens to like Queen, Tchaikovsky and Vangelis.

For those, like me, who are unfamiliar with Nickelback, they are basically a band who can be encapsulated in two words: “Whiny rock”.

Cry me a fucking river. Boring crap song.

Well, it’s kinda odd to actually review an actual band and not just some random MySpace scrub. To bad they suck to such a degree only utter infantile morons would ever listen to it seriously.

Pretty sure the song is about sex, always had a problem with these kinda songs, fucking impossible to understand a fucking word.

But alas, I’m getting away from the core of the stupid message.

Jay wanted me to:

a) Visit the Myspace designed by a moron: Carly Smithson.

So for the first time I’ll have to review a fucking website, thanks a lot “Jay”.

So let’s party: The site doesn’t fit in anyway in Mozilla Firefox, which is both retarded and lazy. There’s a giant picture of “Carly”, trying to look alluring and sexy, to bad she looks like she’s high on something, possibly glue.

For some reason the “details” area is shoved to the right, which is odd, leaves a GIANT fucking hole in the site. Possibly caused by aforementioned lazy programming.

Her comments section is pretty out of whack too. Also full of stupid idiots, she’s been in some idol competition apparently? You Yanks must be pretty far out, we usually ignore these idiots after they’ve won/lost.

Because the suck.

But enough about her poorly made myspace, on to the next deal.

b) Visit We are the Fallen‘s myspace.

It retains it’s ugly default standard, with a fancy colour scheme, and by fancy, I mean similar to Hitler’s Brutalist architecture.

They do however have a single lone song lieing around for our listening pleasure. Oh joy of joys. Let’s listen to that trainwreck.

“Bury me alive” is the only song they’ve got available for them, and I’m not even going to download whatever else these idiots have made.

It’s fucking Evanescence and Nightwish and whatever the fuck else those fucks are called.

It’s noisy, the instruments have a tendency to blend each other out, and every time the singer sings, it goes quiet, presumable so we can hear her “sing”.

She can sing, but she can’t sing.

All in all, I am not a Nickelback fan.

And fuck anyone who thinks so.

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