My nipples imploded with delight.

Gabriel Bautista, henceforward referred to as “Convicted by the ICC”, send me a messages through the tubes, about his recent musical endeavours, who due to my sarcastic nature, I presume is absolute shit.

According to his awful Myspace site, his genre is “Hip Hop/R&B/Pop”, which is basically the Auschwitz of music, nothing good ever came from it, and everything that was good, has been killed off ages ago.

He has, of course, left us poor unenlightened peasants some of his “work” to listen to, and by listen, I mean vomit over.

His first attempt is called “Royalty”, which has two things going for it, It’s short, and has no singing, lucky fucking us.

“Body Heat” is the same thing, except it sounds like it was written for the Rap remake of Commander Keen.

The trend continues in “Bounce”, I’m starting to think that these are all just samples for us poor working class peons to marvel at, not sure how that works for him.

Probably not all that well, and by “not all that well”, I mean, I fucking hope nothing is happening concerning his crap.

“Fly with me” is about as original as burnt toast with cheese on it, sounds like something Vangelis would make, if he was HIGH AND BRAINDEAD!

“Gangsta Wave”, oh dear Eris, why? Seriously, who the fuck things the word “Gangsta” is cool anyway? I know it’s just a retarded slang word for “gangster”, but who the fuck are you kidding?

“Few’cha Fresh” beats the standing record of making no sense at all, pretty sure it’s something about how few are fresh, BUT I WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO TELL, AS IT’S JUST A FUCKING SAMPLE!

Gabriel, why the fuck am I listening to samples without lyrics? Fuck off back to whatever pit spawned you.

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