It’s my firm belief that anything and everything instantly becomes super fucking awesome by simply adding the word “Fuck” at a strategically advantageous point.
And if you disagree with me, I’ll send you a picture of Heinrich Himmler naked.
A prime example:
I’m going to presume that you either play or have played or will play Blizzard’s World of Warcraft, why? Because you are a nerd, how can I presume that? It’s the fucking Internet.
Some of you may have played an “Alliance” character, the word “toon” is an abomination before the Holy Light, and as such have taken a nice little trip to Lakeshire in motherfucking Redridge Mountains.
Now Lakeshire is basically fucked, no soldiers from Stormwind, only a few ragtag incompetent fat village morons as guards, no big city walls.
So, you go and have a chat with the useless twat of a mayor, he tells you he’s basically screwed, and asks that you go bother the big Army General fuckers back in Stormwind, the capital.
So you fuck off to Stormwind, using a mean of transportation you really all should know, and if you don’t, please turn World of Warcraft off, uninstall it, unsubscribe, burn your house, kill yourself and die.
And then you talk to the big head army honcho guy, he basically goes “Well shit, I’d love to send ARMIES TO YOU, but the King is gone/dead/a five year old kid advised by a moron and a giant Black dragon in the shape of a human women/stupid, so I can’t, fuck off”.
You go back to Lakeshire, tell the Mayor, he goes “Well shit, fucking losers in Stormwind ain’t worth shit, go to Westfall, they’ve set some Militia up, yeah, go recruit Robin of fucking Locksley and his men in fucking tights.”
So you fuck off to Westfall using your AWESOME TRANSPOLAR MAGICAL mean of warpspeed, and chat with the WestFALL BigBoss.
He goes; “What the fuck? I set up my People’s Militia to warrent the overthrow of the Nobles and the glorius liberation of the People’s Republic of Westfall, tell him we shot any Soldier from Stormwind, and that we are way to busy fighting against the capitalist swine”.
Back to Lakeshire, talk to guy, guy goes: “Bugger hell, go to Darkshire then, they have some local watch, they’ll fucking help us.”
Off to Darkshire using a floating Pig fountain of Lover’s Gold, talk to the Lord Mayor Ebon Whatever.
He goes: “What? HAve you seen this place? The fucking Sun doesn’t shine here you dimwit, how the fuck can you even think about anything like that? I’ve got Zombies, undead, necromancers and fuck knows what up my frikkin’ arse, tell that lazy cunt to get of his arse and make a militia like the rest of us.”
Back to Lakeshire. QUEST ENDS!
IT JUST ENDS LIKE THAT! WTF!?!?!?!