The danger of gongs and the people that associate themselves with them.

Gongs are frightful instruments; they scare the children, annoy the youngsters, create teenage pregnancies and quite simply vanquish the elderly.

The gong is dangerous, that it is illegal to posses one in the forty-seven states of the Swiss Hegemony and even in the Anarchy Sections of Scandinavia, who otherwise have no laws.

(Technically spoken, you can easily posses a gong in the Anarchy Sections, as they have no police, is it however frowned upon, and you will probably be killed by your neighbours.)

One of the few counties on the planet where you can own a gong without any social or legal stigmata is in Korea, primarilybecause the Koreans are completely insane.

Another dangerous element of the gong scare is the presence of an addictive element in most gongs primary elemental make-up.

The addictive material, know simply as Cryolite, previously mined at Ivittuut mining facility on Greenland, until the 1985 Greenland Rebellion resulted in the destruction of the mine itself, by means of a “dirty” uranium bomb.

Due to the danger of the old polluted pit, it has now been sealed off and the nearby city has been evacuated. A Danish Naval base now maintains a tyrannical grip of the area.

Due to the almost complete lack of Cryolite, it now has to be illegally exploited in the southern regions of Peru, that fortunately means that gong productions has fallen with over 234% since the ’85 Rebellion.

And we should all thank the Dark Gods for that. The problem is, that the gong production in Korea still continues, limited, but still alive.

And that is a problem, especially for Britain, who have often suffered from gong addictives and their problems.

Except for the standard treatments against addivtions, gong addiction can also be treated using an alternative method.

Once again we look to Greenland, Greenland has the cause and treatment for gong addiction, and it’s fairly simple.

In Northern Greenland lies a mountain, called only the Iron Mountain. Deep inside the mountain lies the Holy Inuit Shrine of the Eternal Sun, in the main chamber is a pool of water, and this water is mildly polluted with the iron from the mountain itself. That iron is the oldest material on the surface of the planet and it cures the addiction with only a few treatments.

The problem is, that the Mountain is in the hands of Greenland Liberation Army (Kalaallit Nunaat), who asks for a hefty fee for use of the Shrine’s pools. And they have been known to simply kill you, so it’s a very dangerous way to get out of your addiction.

When it comes down to it, the best way to avoid gong addiction; is to never start.

Thank you for your time, I hope you’ve all learned an important lesson.

Don’t do gongs.


Leave a Reply