The Emperor's Words

Ding dong, the Wicked Alaskan Reactionary Witch is dead!

Or resigned, whatever. And sure, she resigns because she’s planing to run for the US Presidency in 2012, and you shouldn’t fear this.

That incompetent soccer mom doesn’t have a fucking chance in hell to get elected to anything beyond her stupid redneck frozen state.

Her ridiculous excuse? You’re gonna live it!

“People where mean to my son/me on the Internet!”.

Which is quite frankly the single most retarded and yet hilarious thing I’ve heard this month.

You may laugh.

So yeah, apparently it all started on some random crap website out in the Ether, and then picked up by the awful bastards of SomethingAwful.

Yup.

Perhaps Alaska can seem just a little bit less stupid now. What the hell kinda woman actually wants her rights stripped away from her anyway?

So, SomethingAwful made her resign earlier to avoid any more attacks on her family. Yeah, not likely to happen Sarah, not while you think women should stay at home and take care of the kids, the eight of them, that is.

Fucking soccermoms.

Read more at CONSERVATIVECULT!

Blakka-P send me a Telegraphic letter of idiocy through the Post-Modern Expressionism website that is Myspace.com.

Whats up my friend? Im an aspiring artist from Sierra Leone with a lot of interesting songs, If you dont mind, please come check out my page and give me a listen. Leave a comment if you like what you hear. Thanks!! Stay safe

Honor
Blakka P

He gets a single lonely point for being polite.

“Superior” is the first song. I has no interest, and the music sounds like it’s being played by a drunk German with spears through his ears.

It’s fucking awful. I have no clue what the hell he’s singing, I can hear some occasional English words, but ultimately, it’s like listening to a burning car wreck on Croatian.

“Look Good”apparently only features him, which leads me this theorem:

“Any song that Blakka P appears in automatically becomes a giant noisy mess, and loses the priviledge of being called “Music”".

He also quotes Pac-Man with the occasional “Wakka wakka wakka”.

“African Girl” which also features him, cements my Theorem further, with being a giant mess of noises. It has literally no structure at all.

“Conversation” is about talking.

I’m not fucking kidding, it’s a fucking song about talking with other people and how it makes him “creative”.

Yes, creative in a genre which doesn’t do anything but puke out more shit about “hoes” and “gardening tools”.

“Blakka”.

Wow. Good Lord of the Dark Shores, why? Why did you do this you fucking moron? This song is simply awful, not only do you talk some utter incomprehensible dialect, you talk so fast noone sane would ever be able to get any of it.

Awful, simply awful.

“Invisible girl” actually has a poorly played Guitar in it.

And a Chorus, which sucks.

The most advance song so far, and yet it’s all wrong.

The recording quality is awful. The lyrics sounds like something SETI received. The chorus sounds like ten billion morons howling and the Guitar is played by a tone-deaf dead man.

“The Deal” is about Blakka’s utter disregard for Business Management. And actually complains about how apparently he’s having an easy time getting a contract.

Impressively small ego there Mr. Sierra Leone.

“Take it away”, yes, please take it away, far away.

Preferable out somewhere around Jupiter, on fire.

“Not a Badman” is just as awful as the rest. It has no structure and simply noise.

The Lyrics are utterly absurd, where the sentence “I’m no badman” actually pops up.

No badman?

Why don’t I ever hear any fucking rap where you actually use REAL FUCKING ENGLISH? Instead of your stupid bullshit dialects and slang. Who the fuck cares about your stupid skin colour.

SING COMPREHENSIBLE!

And for fucks sake, try to avoid using lyrics that look like something a twelve year old wrote.

Chase Stacks send me a message though the teletron that is myspace.com.

And boy, what a message.

And I thought I had a big ego, let’s see “Im your favorite rapper regardless of what kinda music u like or any other reasons to deny it. lol.. Plus im just an awsome dude.”

How delightful for you Chase, unfortunately for you, I despise rappers and consider them the scum of the Earth, and look forward to the day we finally get to cleanse society for you useless hate-indulging, moronic, incompetent, partly-literate, post-modern poets of shame and utter pillocks.

Still, I am, if nothing else, a deeply honest man, so I’ll listen to your “music”.

You fitly little bard.

“Rep my city” sounds pretty much as every other rap poetry I’ve ever heard. I’m having a few problems actually figuring out what the hell your friends and you are actually singing, but hey.

I heard “Vancouver”, so based on that, I must presume it’s a lengthy ode to Vancouver’s public parks.

“Turn it up” starts with decent techno, then goes into the usual generic rap “beat”. I could hear the word “paper”, so this must a poem about how the modern Paper industry’s burning down the rainforest.

I could be wrong.

“Keep it dropping on them” has a lot of niggers in it. Apparently.

“So Fly” starts like the three before it.

Apparently this one is about the despicable Fox Hunts of Upper Class Great Britain. And apparently they owe him money.

“I’m going to shine” starts the same way the theme to Warcraft II does. Which as a horrible nerd, I find hilarious.

This one is a romantic ballad about how utter miserable he (The Artist) was when his girlfriend OD’ed on drugs or whatever the hell people like you do when you’re not polluting the world with your ego and awful music.

“Walk with me” makes my ears scream out, like a billion voices screamed and where suddenly silenced.

Apparently it’s just a Prayer, not in the Gothic style, more like the “Generic American bullshit” style.

“Private Dancer” starts slightly different, but ends the same. And is the same.

And it’s about him wanting a stripper. How delightful. A return to form.

“Wife girl”starts like a song from The Sims.

I can’t do this, why the hell did you make this crap Chase? Why the hell did you decided to become a rapper? The Sex? The Drugs? The fucking money?

Enjoy sucking the tit of the mediocracy you useless generic piece of biological waste.

“I’ve got to live mine” has a fucking piano! Holy shit! The most advanced rap I’ve heard so far.

Still fucking horrible. Also, apparently in this one he wants money from someone or something or other.

Who the fuck cares?

“Let’s go” is the final song he has graced us with, and Thank the Dark Gods for that.

Listening to it makes me want to murder small nations, like Lichenstein.

Chase, you whore of a Stereotype, I sincerely hope you will have your success, and you will become a big “White rapper”.

And I fucking hope you get caught with cocaine, end up in jail, and get raped by the Fascist fuckers there.

Enjoy your future.

As either a hopelessly generic rapper, regular joe or anal-rape every night mate.

Or perhaps you’ll listen and become something original and interesting.

Ha, fat chance, you probably wont even read this.

You loser.

And to turn off the hatetrain:

Yeah, just chill out.

Mr. 47 posted: modeski posted:
In reality her WoW buddies would probably curse her out for hacking her parent’s account, then subject her to a lengthy lecture on how WoW was just as valid as real life and she should should respect her parent’s passions more. Or something.

I play World of Warcraft, but I steadfastly refuse to plan my life around it. Especially after a particular incident about a year ago when I missed a raid because a friend was killed in a car accident, and I went with other friends to the hospital. I was promptly chastised by several members of my guild for missing the raid.

Their reasoning was that, it wasn’t like I could have saved her by being at the hospital, so I should have stayed home and played WoW.

Needless to say, I quit the guild.

Yeah.

Let’s not rage on World of Warcraft alone though, let’s RAGE on fucking all of them, with no exceptions.

Except Gaia Online’s ZOMG, you’re not allowed to rage on it, YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO HATE IT! LOATH IT! DESTROY IT WITH FIRE!

Most MMORPGs are based on a fairly simple method, the more you play, the more shit you get, the more powerful you get and finally, the finisher, the Grand Armé of MMORPGs, the more shit you still have to get.

That’s really the kicker, no matter how much crap you do and acquire, there’s always something new and shiny waiting in the next cave, or in World of Warcraft’s case, the next giant derelict Troll city.

There’s no real end to any of them, right until the game is shut-down because it sucked and didn’t drown the publisher and developers in huge avalanches of cash.

Still waiting for Age of Conan to go the way of the Dodo.

And even after the game has been terminated, lunatic fans continue to try to design jury-rigged emulation software, all so they can pretend to be elves in a game designed by deranged idiots.

If done correctly, it’s a fucking goldmine, good for us, that it’s virtually impossible for any of the many companies to actual comprehend how to hit the target.

Which brings us back to the only company who did hit the target, Blizzard Entertainment and their precious World of Warcraft.

Let’s recap:

-Easy controls: Check.
-Editable, customizable interface: Check.
-Fairly simple Quest system: Check.
-Not being designed by arseholes: Check.
-Sucks your entire life into a giant drain, never to be seen by mortal eyes? Oh fuck yes.

So yeah, they make money.

Much more then the rest of them.

And hey, guess where the whole MMO thing shows up in these days? Fucking everywhere.

Apparently every single video game published have to have some retarded MMO element included, it’s not fucking necessary you troglodytes.

Take Cities XL, which is presently going through it’s “Beta” phase, more like “Alpha” phase. Why the hell did they decided to run the entire regional concept through an MMO interface? Why?

It’s fucking awful. I build a city, can I see it from the highly detailed planet view? No. Are the maps actually concurrent with the view of the planet? No, they are all generic bullshit.

Who the fuck thought that was a good idea?

Once again, MMO’s ruin everything that’s good in the world.

That, and advertisement in video games, I bought the damn game, fuck off with your stupid unskippable intro sequences of your fucking awful logos you raging cunts.

I leave you with this:

Fuck.

Or Culture Wars: Asian Co-Prosperity Sphere edition.

Or “Listen to me call every single Japanophile a raging moron without any conception of the fucking country they so happily worship, like a religion who’s only equal is the Mayan “10.000 sacrifices on a good day” religion.”

Let’s face it nerds, most of you probably have or is or will watch Japanese cartoons, most of you, hopefully, will treat them like you treat every other cartoon.

Harmless fun, entertainment and time wasted. Nothing more, nothing less. It’s just like watching an episode of Transformers, Venture Brothers or Merry Melodies.

Not seeing anyone spending ages thoroughly analysing Bugs Bunny blowing the shit out of Daffy Duck, although, with how the Internet moves, there is without any doubt someone out there, who did.

Probably more.

Still, the real core of the problem is that most people with an interest in Japanese Culture, doesn’t have any interest in any sort of culture at all.

You have an interest in anything vaguely exotic, because you don’t really have anything going for yourselves, at all, nothing. You’re just an empty shell, desperately sucking any content in.

And of course, why not fucking ridiculous Japanese cartoons, they are absurdly exotic, delightfully alien due to the culture barrier and utterly without merit.

Most of them are so mind-numbing pointless that is it simply below my sizeable mental capacity to comprehend why this is in anyway tasteful:

I couldn’t even watch 0.65 seconds of this, before I could feel billions of neurons screaming out in terrorized pain. It’s ugly, disgusting, poorly drawn and below juvenile.

You’d have to be such an utter dullard, such an imbecile, to enjoy this, that your opinion have never mattered, ever, no one on the whole fucking planet takes you seriously.

Except all the other fans of course.

You’ll have to apologize me for not actually using a clip from the actual animated features on my next example, but there doesn’t exists any legal short clips, so you’ll have to live with a Video Game Trailer, you plebs.

I’ll give them one point, just a single in a vast bottomless Jovian ocean of despair and misery: The trailer music is actually quite good, well done.

To be fair, this example is pretty much the one above it, just better drawn and with better character design. It’s still just syphilis compared to bubonic plague, not immediately deadly, but will drive you insane over a long period, then kill you.

It’s a fucking children’s show you giant fucking manchild, grow the fuck up and smell the fucking sewage.

And that smell, that’s you, yes, you.

Now, the real issue here, isn’t that a bunch of losers thinks Ninjas aren’t just assassins dressed in black, but are a bunch of people with the worst costumes since the Swiss Guard was massacred during the French Revolution.

See? One of them doesn’t even have proper Depth Perception. And it looks like he’s been spending a lot of time standing around in fucking hurricanes, the moron.

Go read something properly Ninja-like.

You know what Japanese Culture is?

This:

I fucking hate all of you.

It isn’t unfortunate though. What’s unfortunate is that I have to hide my fun “dice-rolling and sitting around drinking, and bullshitting with my friends” hobby from normal people because they instantly imagine you guys with your capes and foam bats, and associate me with that shit. Don’t pretend that you don’t know where the hate comes from, it comes from you making it worse for other, lesser nerds. In the exact same way that people who dress up for starwars or startrek conventions make it hard on normal people who just like the movies or show, and don’t want to go any further with it. I know it’s fun for you and all, but you really are fucking it up for the rest of us.

Don’t feel victimized when you get insulted over what you do, we’re the fucking victims here, we don’t even play the game but we get the stigma for it all the same. I have never once put on a cape, but that’s the first thing to pop into anyone’s mind when I mention Dnd. I can even explain to them that we don’t take it seriously at all, that it’s more of a board game than anything, and talking in character is optional, that we speak normally – no thees or thous- modern english only, and that it’s just really an excuse to get together with your friends – ’cause men kind of need a structure in odder to hang out, a BBQ or a game or whatever.

But it’s too late, there’s nothing I can say. In their minds eye I’m a cape wearer, and it’s all you LARPers fault for putting that image into their brain. I don’t care if you don’t have any shame or self respect. I do! Some of us don’t hate society enough that we want to completely scare away anyone who isn’t “one of us”.

As said by Joudas on the SomethingAwful forums.

I was going to add some fancy arse shit here.

But really, this just confirms the age old statement: “Fuck people”.

So, want jokes do you Army of Darkness?

Want me to prance about like a fucking Medieval minstrel telling you the news? Bullshitting about dragons and fucking dungeons? Fine, I’ll joke until your pitiful little brains melt and pour into the streets of Liverpool.

Why Liverpool? Because I fucking like using the city’s name in an absolutely delightful manner.

According to my frail research, you are apparently some World of Warcraft Guild, and by Guild, I mean Anti-Weight Watchers “We hate our life” group.

According to my further research into your dark, dank and quite possibly fetishistic daily workings, your “Guild” has at least a decent amount of members, surprising that so many people can turn off their good taste to join a “Guild” with a name as overwhelmingly daft as “Army of Darkness”, yes, we all know the movie was a delightful spectacle of masculine meritocracy, but really.

“Army of Darkness”, should probably be “Army of Dorkness”, not the best joke, but really, do you deserve less than spite?

The answer, is of course, a resounding no, a no uttered with such an intensity, that the very skies above shattered into a thousands pieces of my lost dreams.

Your “Guild” is apparently quite old too, older than my entire website, well done, well done indeed. Not that it really matters, as activity here, on Ragnarokz.net, has been forthcoming since oh, 2004 or something like that.

Go look it up on Archives.org, I’ll wait.

Done being a bitch? Good.

Always wondered why EverQuest went with “Guild”, not really a guild now is it? A Guild was a sovereign association of Tradesmen, operating in Ye Olden Days.

Kinda like a prototype Union/Corporation. Nothing to do with random freaks running around in a silly videogame spending hours killing dragon number 423, “The One with the yellow Spots”.

Still, I played World of Warcraft, kinda lost interest ages ago. Grinding the same crap, using the same tired old ways, gets you in the end.

Ultimately, World of Warcraft does not suck, the title of this article is simply a way of getting YOUR attention, that’s right, YOU! The Unique Little Snowflake!

It’s fanbase is a different story, a very different story. Like how Sonic fans are furries, Harry Potter fans paedophiles and dreamers, like how Dota fans are insane and how fans of Insane Clown Posse hasn’t gotten the joke yet.

World of Warcraft’s main fanbase are utter and complete pillocks, idiots, morons, dimwits, racist, useless, fat, socially inept and simply plain and utterly horrible at life.

Congratulations, you gain [ACHIEVEMENT] RAGNAROKZ FUCKING HATES YOU, YOUR “ASSOCIATION OF FREE TRADESMEN” AND YOUR ENTIRE DAMN SOCIAL CIRCLE.

Oh wait, you don’t have one.

Iceburn, I suppose I must.

TUCSON, AZ – Three people have been arrested in connection with last months deadly double homicide in Arivaca that left a nine-year-old and her father dead. One of the people arrested for the homicide is the National Executive Director of the Minuteman American Defense group (M.A.D.), a group known for patrolling the border, and is dedicated to “Defending America’s Borders” according to their website – http://minutemenamericandefense.org/

Yup, deranged racist American rednecks break into some poor Mexican bastards home, kill the father and NINE year old daughter, wound the mother.

Leave the scene, returns later, gets shot by the wounded mother, runs off.

Also, Minuteman American Defense are cunts:

Shawna Forde has been exposed as a liar. After her ex-husband was shot, she claimed she was raped and shot by a Mexican Drug Cartel and it was connected to her work as a Minuteman. Now, in this expose, HeraldNet.com reports Forde finally confesses these crimes may have actually been committed by friends of her son who is currently in prison. This expose also provides details into Forde’s very troubled life, her mental instability and criminal past.

Heraldnet.com reports:

Trouble finds Shawna Forde – Border activist at center of recent spate of violence
EVERETT — An Everett woman who attracted national attention by suggesting Mexican drug cartels targeted her for a series of violent attacks now acknowledges she told police they ought to look closer to home for suspects — including among her own son’s friends. Shawna Forde, 41, said she is convinced there are links between the Dec. 22 shooting of her ex-husband at their north Everett home, her reported rape and beating at the same house a week later, and an attack on Jan. 15 in a nearby alley that left her with apparent gunshot wounds to her right arm…(the police) investigation should focus on local street toughs who until last summer were burglarizing Everett-area homes and trafficking in stolen firearms. One member of the ring was Forde’s own son, Devon Duffey, 19. He went to prison in October and now is serving more than two years at the state penitentiary in Walla Walla for being a felon in possession of firearms, records show.
..Forde’s ex-husband declined to be interviewed for this story. He was home alone when ambushed by a narrow-faced stranger dressed in khaki-colored clothing…Forde said it is ridiculous for anyone to think she had anything to do with her ex-husband’s shooting. The attack occurred roughly two weeks after she returned to Everett from a three-month stretch engaged in Minuteman border operations. “If I was going to do something like that I would have done it while I was in Arizona,” Forde said.

Troubled Life:

…Forde said she has been diagnosed with attachment disorder…restraining order against her..felony forgery charges..four marriages…On March 20, 2007, three young men (including her son) showed up at the beauty salon on Colby where Forde worked. One pulled a baseball bat from under his jacket and clobbered the man who owns the salon. The victim required hospital treatment to close his head wounds (son now in prison)…(Forde convicted of )chocolate milk shoplifting…

Forde said she knows her background is unconventional but said she’s not worried that it may affect her ability to work with other Minutemen in combatting illegal immigration and drug smuggling.

Taken from GOOGLE CACHE, because someone knows how to damage control a PR situation, well done.

Doesn’t make you any less racist.

No seriously.

Why the hell do you retarded fucking idiots allow shot like this to happen? WHY? Can you fucking tell me that you raging morons?

No, you fucking can’t!

This, this is the PROBLEM!

A mother feeding her six month old kids fast food. SIX FUCKING MONTHS!

A 250 kg heavy woman when she gave birth, who refuses to make proper food and has actually, through the power of magic, lost roughly 100 kg.

Isn’t that wonderful? This 24 year old lard monster honestly doesn’t have time to make PROPER food for her kids, doesn’t have time to do anything but fucking go get her fucking Welfare Check.

Now, I’m a Socialist, no bullshit, plenty of ideology. And I’m perfectly in favour for the Welfare state, despite abuse of it.

The real issue her, isn’t her being a Welfare sponge, a single “accidental” mother, a landwhale or being a horrible lazy human being.

It’s the blatant and horrible abuse she conducts on her poor fucking kids, junk food? JUNK FOOD? Kid shouldn’t even eat that shit, at least not until their 15, and it can be properly blamed on themselves.

And this fat fucking wreck of a woman thinks fat is beautiful? Fuck off!

fat

Look at her! Just fucking look at this nightmare! When I asked my two horrible friends how the hell you fucked that, with a fucking mallet?

The youngest of them then answered: “You just hit the hips and let the waves carry you.” And I can’t fucking remember who said this one: “Throw flour on it, go for the wet spot.”

Good guys, jaded as fuck.

Still, it could be worse, much worse:

Fucking Britain and fucking America eh?

Also, watch as Fatty MacFatarse Crash Bandicoot defends a horrible human being:

“Why? Every week there’s a new moronbaiting article providing an easy hate figure to get outraged about and every week there’s a 10 page GBS thread full of clowns going “Wow what a fat bitch why can’t she just eat salads fresh food isn’t expensive I watch my diet she can too”, entirely missing the point. All I’m saying is it’d be nice if people could contribute more to the discussion than “I HATE FAT PEOPLE GRRRRRR” and other dumb basic reactionary bullshit. “

“Never mind my cheeseburger, go buy your copy of The Sun and rant about how the world’s going to shit. Carry on being easily enraged over dumb issues reported by dumber tabloids sold to dumb people like yourself. I’m glad that you’re happy to operate on the same level as a Daily Mail reader, spitting out bile and hatred over stupid issues that you’ve been told to get angry about. It’s wonderful that you have such a low capacity for rational thinking that you’re nothing more than an automatic rage machine. Enjoy the rest of your ignorant life ranting about fatties and MUZLIMS DISRESPECTING OUR BOYS and whatever else sells newspaper this week. Just remember that the rest of us with a brain are laughing at you.”

“Daily Mail readers ITT. You are literally Daily Mail readers. You are literally Daily Mail readers. Just stop and think about that for one tiny second. Any time you have ever heard a comedian make fun of the idiot Daily Mail readers, they are talking about you. You personally. You are literally a laughing stock. People are literally laughing at the very idea that a human being could be as dumb as you. You personally.”

Not sure why be bothers, she probably wont fuck some random White Knighting moron on the intrawebs.

It just doesn’t stop does it?

Remember that thread?

We’ve got more dirt, not on the crazy fundie mother, but on the FATHER! Who cheated on his wife with this crazy broad.

Here he is DAAAAN LIRETTE!

And look what stonedpanda found: “Dan Lirette posted:

The Lord had option #3 waiting, which I had no clue would happen… you have to remember, I was one who was 99% sure I had blasphemed the Holy Spirit!”

Yup. Giant scumbad motherfucker, just dumping his responsibility on his precious little god. Well done mate, well done indeed.

And there’s more, samizdat found even more dirt on him:
” shoeshoe at 2007-09-23 00:57 CET:
Dan Lirette, in reality, is a closet homosexual who deals with his desire for penis by yelling at other homosexuals who are just minding their own business.

shoeshoe at 2007-09-24 22:17 CET:
ha ha Dan Lirette got arrested a few days ago in Chicago for propsitioning an undercover police officer in a restroom!”

Apparently the fucker is all over the place!

Who knows what’ll happen next, perhaps he’d actually take some responsibility, rather than just blaming the GREAT GLOWHAND THE DESTROYER, ONLY TRUE GOD!

Probably not.

EDIT: Trying to escape the net are we? Bad David, that’s no good, no good at all!

Horrible try.